Who am I? Finding Myself in Christ

Dear Beautiful One, 

Do you know your value? What do you anchor your significance to? Does it exist in the lies you tell yourself? In the rumors people say behind your back? Is it confined to what you think you should be? Is it bound in comparing yourself to others? Do you place your value in flawed relationships and counterfeit friendships? 

The Holy Spirit is committed to getting a message delivered to you. For the past 10 days, this verse:
“Do not allow this world to mold you in its own image. Instead, be transformed from the inside out by renewing your mind. As a result, you will be able to discern what God wills and whatever God finds good, pleasing, and complete.” - Romans 12:2 (The Voice)
has shown up EVERYWHERE—I {Alison} have found it in countless Facebook and Instagram posts, and referenced in three different books I am reading—each time I come across it, He delivers a new meaning, a new understanding. At first, I was reluctant to share my story. I was ashamed to look back at my past and realize the truth, but as I delved deeper a sense of peace replaced feelings of anxiety. I know now my story is crucial to not only healing my own broken view of my w orth, but to help other women, like yourself, who are struggling with their own self-worth. So, with hope and love, I share my journey of self-worth with you.

In the middle of a verbally abusive relationship, I didn't think I was worth too much. I was completely deflated, empty and depressed. My life had no meaning, no substance. I was desperately chasing purpose and meaning in my life, but looking for it in all of the wrong places.The enormity and desperation of my lost soul was so incredibly real. I was lost in the partying and self-medicating, surrounded in relationships based on false identities, and grievously unable, and unwilling, to take responsibility for myself. In the end, when I would go home alone, late at night, when it was finally quiet, the flood of heartache poured out.

In the morning, I would stare at myself in the mirror and not recognize the girl staring back— a desolate, sallow girl; 40 lbs overweight with bloodshot eyes.— She desperately needs some sleep, I would think, she used to be happy. One day I woke up and realized, thats me, thats what I have become. “Who am I?” I said aloud. I didn't have an answer.

Gone was the innocent, bright eyed, bubbly girl and in return I was incredibly self-conscious, dependent and spiritless. My entire worth was placed in the wrong hands: in a man who broke my heart and squandered my significance, in friends who didn't care for my well-being, in a job I absolutely hated. My whole significance was only surface-deep. 

This isn't the end of my story though, in fact, it is just beginning…

“You were made for more then you’ve settled for. You know you're life does not reflect to who you really are deep down inside.” -Craig Groeschel

It’s been 9 months since the Holy Spirit led me to the cross. I am the example of a life filled with mercy and grace. I am a testimony of the love of Jesus Christ. Because of his mercy I have been reborn. “The old life is gone; a new life has begun!” (2 Cor. 5:17 NIV). I don't have to worry about my future, because He is making me who I was born to be. It is through Him that I have found myself.  When I decided to stop running was when I found peace. I finally understood that I didn't have to keep living the life I was chained to.  

I know this post is meant for someone. I cannot stress it enough that you are worth it.  You are so incredibly worth it to God. “God paid a high price for you, so don't be enslaved by the world.” (1 Cor. 7:23 NLT). Permitting your worth to depend on the World will cause only heartache and pain. Defining yourself by what the world deems as acceptable is a dark and lonely path. “The thief approaches with malicious intent, looking to steal, slaughter, and destroy; I came to give life with joy and abundance.” (John 10:10 The Voice).  

Jesus came and sacrificed his life for you. “You belong to God, and Jesus paid for you with his life. The cross proves your value. Nobody has ever paid a greater ransom price than God paid for you! You're acceptable, and you're valuable.” —Rick Warren The amount of love he has for you is endless and unconditional. “Think about this:  while we were wasting our lives in sin, God revealed His powerful love to us in a tangible display—the Anointed One died for us.” (Romans 5:8 The Voice) While we were still sinners He loved us regardless.  You have always been worth it. You don't have to accomplish or do anything in order to accept the love and blessings of Jesus Christ.

So, beautiful one, I urge you to seek Him, to know Him, to begin a relationship with the Lord. He will do amazing things in your life if you will let Him. He will move through your life restoring your heart. That hole in your life you so desperately tried to fill with the world will be healed. Through Him you will no longer be the broken and lost girl. Through Him you will rise up. He is greater than your past mistakes and heartache, He will overcome your fear, regrets, and sorrow. Jesus will redeem you. In Him you will shine.

Who You are in Christ  [ for when you forget ]

1. Loved - “I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God. who loved me and gave himself for me. “ - Galatians 2:20
2. Redeemed - “He has delivered us from the power of darkness and conveyed us into the kingdom of the Son of His love, in whom we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins.” - Colossians 1:13-14
3. Accepted - “To the praise of the glory of His grace, by which He made us accepted in the Beloved.”  - Ephesians 1:6
4. Found - Once you were like sheep who wandered away. But now you have turned to your Shepherd, the Guardian of your souls.” - 1 Peter 2:25
5. Chosen - “But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, His own special people, that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light.” - 1 Peter 2:9
6. God’s Workmanship - “Yet you, LORD, are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand.” - Isaiah 64:8