When I (Ginny) was in college, I dreamed that I would someday be a writer and speaker. Of course, at that time (I thought), in order to do something like that, I would need certain things to happen first.  For one, I needed to figure out how to love writing again because my college essays detroyed any warm and fuzzy feeling I had about it. Come on, who really enjoys writing a 25 page paper about existentialism? (If that brings giddy feelings to your heart, don't answer that!) Above all, I held onto the belief that I needed to be old, like at least in my 30's (ha!), when I had more life experience and wisdom.  I believed that I didn't have anything to bring to the table that would help others unless I lived life a little. 

I kept my dreams to myself back then because sharing them with someone meant I might have to actually do something about them.

My life since then has been a series of dreams about what I might do "someday." But each time I thought about my dreams or made new ones, I always had a "But first, I need to -----" thought that followed. God was clearly laying a call on my life, but there was never a good time to follow that call. I had a checklist of things that would need to be in place first.  I had to get married and build my teaching career. After those stepping stones were accomplished, I had to fulfill my dream of being a mom. How could I have anything to blog about unless I walked through those phases of life first?

Now I sit here, an "old" woman in my 30's, married to the man of my dreams, and a mother of two beautiful young children ages 2 and 4.  Checklist complete!  Or...maybe not.  My latest excuse is that I can't possibly do anything new right now. I am too busy and lack any energy at the end of the day to write. How could I be a part of a writing and speaking ministry when I don't even have time or energy to clean my house? For goodness sakes, the spiders are building a city across my ceilings complete with skyscrapers and apartment buildings!  Certainly, I can do the writing and speaking stuff when my kids are older. 

Recently, however, I began to read Radical by David Platt. I have only finished the first chapter (those of you with toddlers know how hard it is to get alone time to read a chapter, let alone an entire book), but it is already changing my whole way of thinking about service for God. He gave examples of three men who wanted to follow Jesus but had something they held onto or wanted to accomplish before taking that first step.  

The account of these men is found in Luke 9. The first man told Jesus that he would follow him wherever he went. Jesus told him that if he followed him, his basic needs being met was not a guarantee. The second man's father had just died, and he told Jesus that he needed to bury his father, and THEN he would go and follow him. Jesus' response? He told him to skip the burial and follow him instead! Finally, the third man told Jesus that he wanted to say goodbye to his family first, and THEN he would follow Jesus. Jesus told him to skip the goodbyes and just follow him. 


Wow! Jesus was not fooling around. These men were full of excuses which many of us would consider very valid, but Jesus was asking them to lay down these excuses and follow him.

At this point, I was floored because I had never thought about things that way. All my life, I have been filled with excuses like these men. I always say, "FIRST I need to __________, and THEN I will follow God's call." Some of these reasons have seemed very valid and made sense in my humanity. But Jesus is calling us to put down all of those excuses and whole-heartedly follow after him.

When Mandy asked me to join the blogging team for Deliberate Women, I immediately did the FIRST/THEN game. FIRST, my life needs to settle down, and I need to figure out this mom thing. THEN I can join the team. FIRST, I need to figure out what I could possibly write about. THEN I could be an interesting blogger. I let my fears and insecurities dictate my thinking instead of trusting that God would give me the words to write.

Of course, when God wants you to do something, He doesn't give up easily. Following Mandy's request, everything I read or heard at church in the next week seemed to be about letting go of fear. God couldn't be speaking to me more clearly. Finally, I gave up. "OK, God! Fine!  I’ll do it!" I cried. "But you better give me a little help because I'm stepping out of my comfort zone big time doing this."

With that, help came. My notepad is full of blogging ideas, and I have so many exciting things to share with you ladies over the coming months. You will get to meet my incredible and zany family through my writing, and you will get to know me on a personal level. I intend to bare my soul and be REAL with you girls about my struggles and triumphs in my world of being a wife and an adoptive mom of two lovely young girls.

But before those blog posts come, I have a challenge for you: Are you playing the FIRST/THEN game with God right now? Is He calling you to do something that might be out of your comfort zone and you are spouting off a long list of excuses back at Him? Perhaps you don't think you have enough skill or experience. Perhaps He is calling you to give up some of those life comforts that you are so desperate to hold on to.  Perhaps you don’t think it is the right time.  My friend, please stop playing that game. God wants to be first in your life. When you put those worries, comforts, and experiences ahead of Him, you are not living 100% for Him. He wants radical faith from us. He wants us to trust Him COMPLETELY despite our worries and thoughts of not being good enough or that it isn’t the right time.

Are you willing to stop playing the FIRST/THEN game and just say YES? It is a scary thing to do, but as I am discovering, it is really exciting and comforting to give things up completely to God and give Him control.

In 2013, I (Annice) desire to be a deliberate woman. Well, what does that mean to me? The definition for deliberate is done consciously and intentionally. 

What does the Bible say about being deliberate? Psalm 19:13-14 says, "Keep me from deliberate sins! Don't let them control me. Then I will be free of guilt and innocent of great sin. May the words of my mouth and the thoughts of my heart be pleasing to you, O LORD, my rock and my redeemer"  

"Keep me from deliberate sins! Don't let them control me", I prayed and God gave me direction. He placed it on my heart to intentionally put Bible verses in several places in our house, as the wallpaper on my laptop and on the main screen/wallpaper of my iPhone 5. Therefore, I see God's Word several times each day. Most of my framed verses and wallpaper come straight from Pinterest. Check out my board  Thy Word in a Lamp Unto my Feet and a Light Unto my Path. 

"May the words of my mouth...be pleasing to you," I am a stay-at-home momma to 4 awesome kids, ages 19 months to 6 years old. I also Home school 2 of them and only have 2 that still take naps. Like most mothers, I am drowning in laundry, house work, bills to pay, being pulled in all directions by the kids, making meals, wiping butts, giving baths, and the list goes on and on and on. I am lucky if I get a shower, let alone dressed by the time my husband returns home from work. Throughout all of this craziness, I tend to speak out in a way that is not pleasing to the Lord. Whether it is to my children, husband, friends, slow driver on the road, Walmart (for not having enough registers open), or my parents. I intentionally refuse to gossip about other people too. God has been working in my heart and has been changing my words before they come out of my mouth. But, I want to be more conscious about what I am saying. I am a witness to the lost, a role model to my children and disciple of God.

"and the thoughts of my heart....be pleasing to you"  My mind wonders a lot throughout the day. I think about what all needs done around our home, about the kids needs, my husbands needs, how I can help a friend in need, how I can be a better Homeschooling Momma, how can I serve more in my church, how can I witness to those I love that do not know the Lord, how I can change my children's generation and make them follow hard after God, how to start my own Home school co-op or private school/church/summer camp, how can I squeeze in a shower...you get the point. There are also times when my thoughts are not pleasing to the Lord. Those thoughts usually are negative ones toward myself or others; questioning my faith; questioning why God made me a momma of 4; questioning why He called me to Home school, etc.

Before closing this out in prayer, I would like to thank God for putting the idea of this group into Mandy's head. What a blessing this group has been thus far and I look forward to see what You have in store for us.

Heavenly Father,

Lord I come to you today a broken woman, one who needs your loving arms wrapped around me. Please guide me to do and say things that are pleasing to you. It is my desire, Lord, to be Your disciple in my home, as well as out in this broken world. Cause me to be the Deliberate Woman that You want me to be.It is in Jesus' precious name that I pray, Amen 

So here we go....these past few weeks have been a crazy whirlwind of God led goodness along with some illness mixed in. A few weeks ago while looking for a Beth Moore study to start with a small group of women from my local MOPS group a small, only can be God voice spoke to my heart very clearly and said, “write your own bible study”.  I {Lindsey} love to write, had even contemplated and began a book while in high school, but I always lost focus, desire, and time.Throughout the years I will admit that I have learned you can make time for anything that is of true importance to you.

I would love to say my first reaction was to get on board immediately, however, while I wasn’t opposed to the idea my thoughts drifted to my 3 small children, the time I spend constantly on the clock as a stay at home mom, my commitment to home schooling my oldest, and the close approaching move to our new house. My answer at that first call was “now is not a good time, too much is going on, maybe later”. Well, lucky for me God didn’t take my postponement as an answer. Less than a week later while speaking with my Aunt Mandy Pagano (you may recognize her as the other author of this site) she began telling me of this new found vision that God gave her. A community blog site where real women can discuss real issues from a Godly prospective. In conversation I happened to mention that I thought God might be calling me to write a bible study to which she pretty much replied “Awesome because I’ve been thinking the site needs one and now you can write it.” 

So I put out the few ideas that had kind of been on my heart and eventually settled on an idea that combined both insecurity and a list of commitments that I wrote many months ago for myself.  This bible study is a work in progress that you will be getting one section at a time. Each section will be part of a chapter in progress and eventually each full chapter will morph together into the book as a whole. The study as a whole is entitled “Called to be His Beloved: Finding Purposeful Security”, however, the first chapter I am working on is “Purposeful Security in a Crumbling World”.

Once everything is complete, I don’t know what order the chapters will be in. I’m not sure what will make sense, but I trust that just as God is daily leading my writings now that we will see it fall together in whatever order is best. You all will get a front row seat to this journey. You will get to experience with me, sometimes the very day that I have experienced it, just how God is placing the pieces of this puzzle together. I personally can’t wait to see the big picture at the end.

Before I go into the study I want to give you all some background information. I am primarily using the New Living Translation for this study. I honestly, haven’t used it much in the past, but feel God clearly speaking to me through it. Any time you see a verse that does not have a translation reference on it you can assume its from the NLT. I do use other translations throughout, but will always place a translation reference with any verse that does not come from the NLT. 

Next, please be open to participation, get a conversation going, talk openly about how and why a certain point applies to your life. Don’t be afraid to get real.

Finally, I want to share with you the main verse reference that will go with our first chapter “Purposeful Security in a Crumbling World”.

Psalm 46:1-11 (NLT)

1 God is our refuge and strength,
    always ready to help in times of trouble.
2 
So we will not fear when earthquakes come
    and the mountains crumble into the sea.
3 
Let the oceans roar and foam.
    Let the mountains tremble as the waters surge! Interlude
4 
A river brings joy to the city of our God,
   the sacred home of the Most High.
5 
God dwells in that city; it cannot be destroyed.
    From the very break of day, God will protect it.
6 
The nations are in chaos,
    and their kingdoms crumble!
God’s voice thunders,
    and the earth melts!
7 
The Lord of Heaven’s Armies is here among us;
    the God of Israel[b] is our fortress. Interlude
8 
Come, see the glorious works of the Lord:
    See how he brings destruction upon the world.
9 
He causes wars to end throughout the earth.
    He breaks the bow and snaps the spear;
    he burns the shields with fire.
10 
“Be still, and know that I am God!
    I will be honored by every nation.
    I will be honored throughout the world.”
11 
The Lord of Heaven’s Armies is here among us;
    the God of Israel is our fortress. Interlude

I so look forward to seeing how God works in each of our lives (mine included) through this study. He is alive, His word is living, and He is ready to call us His beloved and to give us purposeful security in this life and in this crumbling world. Let us be open to seeing him do this!

Check out this link to our up and running Devotional Page.