So I'm beginning to understand why I've heard countless times that quiet time should take place early in the morning before anyone else is up.

Unfortunately for me, I {Mandy} am not a morning person.

I consider "early" to be 7:00. And I actually consider that to be "butt-crack-of-dawn" early.

So my "quiet time" is usually anything but quiet.

This morning I was excited to do my new Beth Moore Bible Study, so I gathered together my Bible, the workbook, and my journal notebook, got a hot cup of coffee and settled in the front room (careful to be away from the kids who were in the living room) and settled in to learn and be refreshed by being in the Word. *Cue beautiful, harp music here*

But that was just not meant to be.

Instead of delicious, lengthy moments of clutching my Bible to my chest while I ponder the richness of God's Word, I was constantly interrupted with things like refereeing who got to use my iPad, fending off my 2 year old who was begging to play with my iPhone, typing in things for my 5 year old who is searching for specific games on the kindle, fetching toilet paper for our 8 year old who didn't heed my advice to use the upstairs bathroom, and listening for the 500th time while the 2 year old threw massive tantrum after tantrum.

And all this is AFTER I was ripped out of bed when my newly-sorta-potty-trained almost 4 year old said in a panic that he had to pee at 7:30 this morning.

And of course, he didn't make it in time, so he peed all over the bar stool and the floor and then also proceeded to poop in his pants which led me to a near breakdown. (Even after potty training 3 other kids, I STILL consider potty training to be the most loathsome milestone.)

And in between all these calamities and distractions, I did manage to glean some meaty bits from the Word, but it was woven in and out of yelling, crying, fighting, and screaming. (Some me and some the kids.)

And then I realized, in the midst of a tirade with my voice raised to a yell, that the reason I am supposed to be in quiet time with God is to get my thoughts right. Get ready for the day. Put on the full armor of God so that I am equipped to withstand whatever it is that the day will throw at me.

I found myself asking how much better I would have handled all those "catastrophes" if I had gotten up before the kids did, padded downstairs to the front room with some coffee and my Bible and actually had QUIET time for my Quiet Time?

Maybe I wouldn't have been pondering an enormous Truth while at the same time biting my daughter's head off because she asked me a question. Or maybe I wouldn't have disparaged my 8 year old for having the AUDACITY to ask me for toilet paper.

MAYBE, just maybe I would have been able to really GET what God was trying to whisper in my ear, but I was so busy yelling in frustration over being interrupted so many times that I only heard part of it, and missed the full impact.

There is an enormous stronghold I am battling right now and I have watched God draw me in to look closely at it. He has brought many things and people to my life and to my attention lately that I KNOW He is working on my heart in this area. Today was no exception. I am at the CLIFF of totally giving in and giving it over to Him, like I should, but instead, I am hassled, frustrated, and exasperated because my kids are loud and demanding.

And it's after 8 years of having kids that this STILL surprises me!

So, I am realizing WHY it is essential to not only get your time in with God, but to get it in when you can really appreciate it and absorb it. When you can REALLY and FULLY hear Him.

For me, that means that I have to get up earlier.

And that totally sucks, but if I have to choose between getting up earlier and being a little tired but refreshed and loaded and ready for my day, able to be a better wife and mom because I have gotten my strength and wisdom from Him, over getting up later and being annoyed and irritable because I am trying to "squeeze" in Bible time while wrestling with my kids' needs and demands....well, it really should be a no-brainer.

It's why Jesus went away from the crowds and often the disciples when He needed time with God. He needed to HEAR and THINK. And not in fits and starts, but completely, without distraction.

Maybe I could have put this stronghold to rest long ago if I'd done that.

So my encouragement to you today is to make sure you're getting alone with God. I realize it won't always happen in the morning and it won't always be perfectly etched into your schedule, but make it a priority. Us having Quiet Time is all about communing with the very God who can give us the strength to make all those other moments of the day count. What good are 24 hours of a day when they are conducted without a clear thought or conversation with God? How much better to be with Him, locked in and unfettered for even 5 solid minutes than to wrangle our way through the day on our own with only a passing thought to the Almighty.

My prayer for myself and all of you:

Father, so often I race into my day without more than a passing thought to You and what You have planned for me. I so often find time to check my email, my text messages and voice mail, or flip through a magazine or read blogs, but I don't regularly invest the time to dig into your Word and prepare for the day. Please give me a passion and a hunger and a thirst for Your Word and help me recognize and take advantage of the opportunities You provide for me to be alone with You. In Jesus' name, Amen. 

Well, my original intent was to write about an entirely different subject today, but then I {Lindsey} came upon an article that struck me at my core and lines up so wonderfully with where God is leading me next. I have been strongly persuaded by the Holy Spirit that young women are a part of my mission, specifically teen girls to early 20’s. This mission may at some point change just as it has developed into what it is now, but as for this time, they are my focal group. Today I read an article written by the daughter of Alice Walker, author of The Color Purple. I remember reading this book in high school, and while I can’t quote you any details, I remember even then being off put by something that I couldn’t quite put my finger on.

I went on to attend a very liberal feminist all girls college for my first semester and while there is much that I loved about the campus, my friends, and many of my professors there was still an underlying issue that I had with the whole situation. While some may not agree, my marriage to my amazing husband only a few weeks into my college education and our departure to Hawaii after my first semester there was in many ways my saving grace. While I finished my college education and got my 4 year degree, I also had the opportunity to step out of the inundation of feminism and realize what I had known was my purpose here on earth from the time I was a little girl.

Our world, has unfortunately got so caught up in the idealism of feminist culture that we have thrown to the wayside undeniable truths. We as women have bought into this cultural lie, we force it down the throats of those around us, and we claim that anyone who sees things differently is ignorant and small minded. The feminist movement and our attitudes of self love at the cost of our responsibility to others has resulted in increased divorce rates over the years. No, I don’t think women are entirely responsible for the rate of divorce, however, I believe that women hold 50% of the responsibility in any marriage. For starters, lets look at a few verses that explain the heart of God towards the idea of divorce and marriage. Matthew 19:4-6 says, “‘Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.’” We are not intended for divorce, that is a product of sinful and selfish nature. This nature leads us to more than just failed marriages though, it leads us to broken homes. Children who get caught up in grownup arguments and having to choose sides. Children left without father’s because we as women decided we are strong enough, independent enough, self sufficient enough to defy the plans of God. 

Another lie of the feminist movement, one that pushes our husband’s further from their intended roles as loving men and father’s is that they are not worthy of respect simply on the merits of being the head of our household (by our choice I might add), but that they must work to earn our respect at every turn. God intended for something very different. Ephesians 5:33 says, “However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.” I know there are some of you out there with that feminist mind set still who are saying, well my husband doesn’t love me as himself so why should I respect him, but ladies take a look at that verse again. Does it instruct men to love their wives so that wives will find them suitable to be respected. No, it instructs each party, husband and wife, separately, to do as they are intended to do unconditionally. This alone would explain why the feminist movement has brought with its ascension the breakdown of the American family.

The trouble doesn’t stop there though. We live in a society where new wives and soon to be first time moms are being worn down before the sleepless nights of motherhood even begin. A society who tells us that we should ignore our God given yearnings for motherhood and should trade peanut butter and jelly faces, for world travel, sexual independence/discovery, and the freedom to do with our bodies what we so choose. We live in a feminist society that mindlessly promotes a women’s right to choose while ignoring, the physical, emotional, and mental consequences that come afterward. Feminism has taken root in the lives our young girls and young women in such a way that they do first and think about the consequences later. Women tear down other women based on their desires to stay home and raise children, and perhaps if they see one or two kids as okay moving into the realm of 3 or 4 is absolute feminist tyranny. Our feminist society has turned children into a burden instead of seeing them as the blessing that they have always been. Its a society, that looks at me like I’m insane for not taking the “well deserved” break that kindergarten would afford me and am instead choosing to school my children at home. 

Well, I for one am sick of the hold that this cultural lie has on the lives of women in my life. I am sick of feeling like I have to explain why motherhood is my calling and why I prefer to be dependent on my husband as the leader of our family. I am sick of living in a world of selfish women who have no idea how powerful their voices could be if only they were willing to focus less on self and more on those around them. I would like to point out that I am in no way saying that women don’t deserve love and respect and appreciation. I’m not saying that we don’t need a break from being a mommy and a wife every now and then to realize who we are as an individual. In fact, I think those times are extremely necessary for rest and refreshment so that I can come back and do my job well. I do think, there is a difference between recouping and recoiling. When we look at our lives as moms and wives or as future moms and wives we should not feel chained down or burned, we should instead being seeing a world of possibilities and blessings. I for one did not ever truly see life until I saw it through the eyes of my child. My very young marriage did not shackle me to a dull and demeaning life, it saved me from 4 years of being told that my purpose in life as a mother and wife wasn’t good enough. The life I lead today allowed me (for the most part), to steer clear of  The Feminist Lie. 

I encourage each and everyone of you reading today to evaluate where the lies of feminism have gotten a foot hold on your marriage, on your commitment to motherhood, on your life in general. It can be a tough pill to swallow, you know the realization that some blame for failed relationships or a struggling marriage lies at your feet, but it is a freeing experience that will help you break the chains that feminism has locked generations of women up with. Choose today to free yourself from the lies of self righteousness by clinging to the truth of the Father. He loves you dearly, and believes you are more precious then gold, silver, or diamonds, but you will never really understand that until you submit yourself to His plan which is as far from feminism as the East is from the West. Renew your purpose, reclaim your life, and repair your relationship by leaving the lie behind and replacing it with the true purpose God has ready and waiting for you.

I am mother of the year.  
Yes, I'm not bashful.  I'm just letting you know.  And why am I mother of the year this time?  (Oh yes, I have deserved this award many times over, by the way.)  Let me just tell you a little Mother's Day story to help you see why I deserve this honor - yet again.  
Just this week, Isaiah and I had a wonderful afternoon that included copious amounts of baby powder on the living room floor, spread around generously by my sneaky three year old while I was attempting to make dinner.  

When I discovered that he had emptied 36 ounces of baby powder on the living room floor and was swimming in it, I did what any good parent of my generation would do...  I took a picture of it.  Then I followed some very small baby powder footprints up the stairs to see what my daughter had gotten into, as she was also way too quiet.  It turns out that she was emptying a package of diapers onto her floor to accompany all of the clothes from her dresser that her brother had already emptied on the floor.  So again (like any good parent), I took a picture.  I sighed, took Annika downstairs, and took one more picture of Isaiah and Annika practicing the backstroke and assigned myself to cleanup duty.  Sigh. 

Out comes the vacuum to sweep up the baby powder.  Because it should be noted that water plus baby powder equals a paste like consistency that sinks into cracks in hardwood floors and won't come out.  Trust me, I know.  When the vacuum came out, the poo hit the fan.  Isaiah (after not taking a nap that day) freaked out because I was cleaning up the mess.  Like started screaming, yelling, shutting off the vacuum, and generally throwing an angry tirade BECAUSE I was cleaning up the baby powder.  I hadn't yelled at him for dumping baby powder, I hadn't said anything at all to either of the kids for the gargantuan messes that they had made.  In fact, I figured that it was my fault for making dinner so late after they were already hungry.  Or perhaps I hadn't given them enough tactile learning opportunities lately, and baby powder on a hardwood floor is just what their curiosity needed.  

But when Isaiah freaked out, I lost it.  I was furious that he was freaking out at ME because I was cleaning up HIS mess.  Furious, angry, mad.  I grabbed him, put him on the stairs (probably rather roughly), and told him he was in time out.  He continued to cry, scream and yell, at the top of his lungs, and began slamming the gate we have at the bottom of the stairs open and shut.  He has done this before, but when he threw the gate down the stairs, I went off the deep end.  I screamed, picked up the gate and threw it on the floor.  Then I took him upstairs to his room and slammed his door.  Three times.  I angrily walked downstairs and continued my cleanup with the vacuum on to try to drown out the screaming, crying and banging coming from his room.

I was so furious at the whole situation.  Baby powder all over the hardwood floor, in the cracks, and fine baby powder dust all over the furniture, area rug, and sofas.  I was trying to not freak out initially, and was honestly worried that baby powder in their lungs was probably a health risk, and needed to be cleaned up ASAP.  But I let the kids play in it a little bit (again, maybe I missed the boat on tactile learning opportunities as of late).  It wasn't just the mess, but rather the mess plus Isaiah's reaction that had me furious.  I had tried to count to three and breathe deeply in the midst of the baby powdered living room, but I was still seeing red.  And in my anger and frustration, I behaved badly.

After Isaiah freaked out in his room alone for a few minutes, and I got most of the mess contained (I have a feeling I'll be finding baby powder in the living room for weeks), I had to talk to Isaiah about his behavior and my over reaction.  I had to apologize to Isaiah for freaking out.  Because while Annika didn't seem to notice or care that mommy was acting like a madwoman, Isaiah certainly knew.  He cried harder when I threw the gate on the floor and I could see the look of fear in his eyes.  Mommy guilt welling up.  I sat him down and I told him I was very sorry for acting the way I did.  I was sorry for getting so angry, sorry for throwing the gate, and sorry for slamming his door.  Three times.  And his reaction to my apology?  He said, "Mommy, it's okay," and gave me a huge teary hug.  Just like he always does when mommy tells him that she's sorry for her sometimes crazed reactions to the very typical antics of a very typical three year old. 

Just like that.  "Mommy, it's okay."  Spoken calmly and with the utmost trust in his mom.  In me, the angry, crazy woman throwing gates and slamming doors.  And the hug.  My sweet little three year old boy couldn't wait to rest his head on my shoulder and hug me tight.  He longs for our relationship to be right, and to love on me.  So short is his memory of my transgression, he won't be holding a grudge against me tomorrow.  So complete, yet simple is his forgiveness. 

The forgiveness of my little guy gave me pause.  It was such a beautiful picture of a much larger truth.  Isaiah's was so quick to forgive me.  He was so sincere and complete in his forgiveness.  He just wanted to be okay with mommy, to hug me and love me and have me hold him.  He didn't want to nurse a grudge, hold on to his anger, or make me jump through hoops to make him feel better.  

Do you see the bigger picture - the picture of the forgiveness of God?  We come to Him, admit our mistakes and ask for forgiveness, and, through the sacrifice of Christ, He richly and freely forgives and forgets.  Because of Jesus, we can be forgiven freely, completely, and have our slate wiped clean. 

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.  1 John 1:9

Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord.  Acts 3:19

As far as the east is from the west, So far has He removed our transgressions from us.  Psalm 103:12

He forgets not because he has the mind of a child, but because he chooses to forget (Jeremiah 31:34).  His forgiveness is instant and complete, with no strings attached.  He longs to be in a right relationship with us, not wanting to hold a grudge or hold on to his righteous anger at our sin.  What a beautiful big picture!!  Thank you Isaiah for helping your momma out!

The rest of the day wasn't perfect after my lightbulb forgiveness moment.  Isaiah threw a fit over dinner, and a fit after dinner about needing a bath. But that's how motherhood - and life - goes.  It's messy, it's frustrating, and it's amazing all at the same time.  

So yeah, maybe you guessed I really wasn't mother of the year.  And I never have been.  If anything, I've been nominated for anger management classes.  I'm not perfect.  I'm not even close to perfect.  But I'm forgiven.  I'm working on this thing called humility, trying to set my pride aside for long enough to know I need to ask for forgiveness, even if I need to ask my son.  And I hope that maybe someday, at least in my son's eyes, I can be the mother of the year.

Do you need to ask forgiveness of someone in your life?  Is it God, a friend, or even your child?   Ask God for humility and eyes to see your sin.  And go to them, confess and ask forgiveness - make your relationship right.

My very dear friend Laura Cabe was asked to write something for a women's group in Kenya. These women are ostracized, shamed and persecuted for being single mothers. Often times, these women were raped and or the father left the women to raise their child(ren) alone. Regardless of the situation, these women are being made to feel that they are ruined, shameful and not good enough. Laura shared her heart and her own testimony to show how God can overcome all and heal a broken heart--teaching that every person has worth and is made new in Him. Once I read this, I knew I had to share it here. How many women feel this way? How can we better rise up and support these women and let them know they are made new and share the love of Christ with them? ~Mandy 

Here is Laura's story: 

In Jeremiah 29:11 the Bible says…For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 

In my Bible it captions saying that [we are all encouraged by a leader who stirs us to move ahead, someone who believes that we can do the task he has given and who will be with us all the way.  God is that kind of leader.  He knows the future, and His plans for us are good and full of hope.  As long as God, who knows the future, provides our agenda and goes with us as we fulfill His mission, we can have boundless hope.  This does not mean that we will be spared pain, suffering, or hardships, but that God will see us through to a glorious conclusion.]

I wanted to share with you a little about myself.  I was raised in a non-Christian, single parent home.  My father left when I was very young.  We were poor and many times people would bring us food and clothes because we had none.  When I was 5 someone asked me to come to church with them and I accepted Jesus as my savior.  So here I was, finding my way to God, without my mother or father’s direction.  My mother had many men, some were not nice, some were dangerous and my mother chose to be with these men anyway.  This put my brother and me in some serious situations and for many years I was angry with my mother for not making better choices.  Then I grew up and got married.  To a man very similar to the kind my mother was with.  When I got married, I was thankful that someone loved me, even if he wasn’t a nice person.  We had a child and he was even more angry and abusive and then he chose to be with another woman.  I was very hurt, and made me feel like it was true, I wasn’t good enough, for even someone who wasn’t very nice, to love me.  I must be a terrible person.  It was during this time God spoke to my heart and the spirit told me…”You cannot base your worth on the values earthly men put on you.”  My father, my mother’s men, my husband…I need to see myself as God sees me. 

Psalm 139 says
1 You have searched me, Lord,
    and you know me.
2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
    you perceive my thoughts from afar.
3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
    you are familiar with all my ways.
4 Before a word is on my tongue
    you, Lord, know it completely.
5 You hem me in behind and before,
    and you lay your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
    too lofty for me to attain.
7 Where can I go from your Spirit?
    Where can I flee from your presence?
8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
    if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
    if I settle on the far side of the sea,
10 even there your hand will guide me,
    your right hand will hold me fast.
11 If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
    and the light become night around me,”
12 even the darkness will not be dark to you;
    the night will shine like the day,
    for darkness is as light to you.
13 For you created my inmost being;
    you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
    your works are wonderful,
    I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you
    when I was made in the secret place,
    when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my unformed body;
    all the days ordained for me were written in your book
    before one of them came to be.
17 How precious to me are your thoughts,[a] God!
    How vast is the sum of them!
18 Were I to count them,
    they would outnumber the grains of sand--
    when I awake, I am still with you.

Ladies, That is a lot of love.  We must be worth A LOT to God!  He knows ALL about us; everything! And LOVES us anyway. 

Luke 12:7 says

 Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows. 

He cares so much he knows how many hairs are on our heads and we are worth more than many sparrows.  Stay with me…there is more. 

So then I re-read Psalm 139 again and I begin to wonder how can God, who knows every day of my life let so many bad things happen to me.  I have been a Christian most of my life, and where was God during those difficult times, and honestly, I was a little angry…And then the spirit instantly revealed to me…

“You can see the trials that were placed before you, you had hardships and struggles and difficult people.  If your life was easy would you need God?  If you were born with lots of money, would today, your heart ache for those who have little?  If your mother were not so broken and your childhood so painful, would you love the mothers and their children of this world so deeply?  If you grew up feeling the worth of men, would you feel such desire to share the awesome amount of worth that our God feels for us?”

I have a purpose.  And every bit of pain was God leading me to something beautiful.   And you have a purpose.  It doesn’t have to be grand…it can be simply to reveal God’s love and to love.  Raising your children in God’s will is a huge purpose, for they will grow to find their purpose and God’s kingdom will grow.  We may never see the fruit of our purpose in this life, but that makes it even more important to stay focused on God’s will.

Romans 8:28

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

James 1:2-4

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 

So I leave you with a final verse ...Jesus said this.

Luke 12:22

Then Jesus said to his disciples: “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. 23 For life is more than food, and the body more than clothes. 24 Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! 25 Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life[b]? 26 Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?

We are more valuable than the birds, and God cares for them and He care for you and his thoughts of you are greater than the grains of sand. 

And I pray.

“Our Heavenly Father, each woman you placed on this earth has Your value, open our eyes to see it, show us our purpose in your plan and give us the peace and comfort to not worry when we are struggling but shift our focus to you, the provider of our needs, the lover of our hearts.  Provide focus on our lives that will bring glory to you.  We know that where our treasure is our heart is also, give us a heart for you. Teach us to love you the way you love us.  We are thankful for all your provisions and thankful for another day to draw nearer to you.  In Jesus’ name. Amen