Remember what you said to me, your servant--
I hang on these words for dear life!
These words hold me up in bad times;
yes, your promises rejuvenate me.
Psalm 119:49-50, MSG

Do you feel alone? Are you going through a difficult time and feel like God has left you to muscle through on your own?

I {Mandy}have been there: A divorce, abuse, a broken relationship.

And I wondered where God was in all of it.

It felt like He had turned His back on me or was leaving me to "figure it out" on my own. 

The truth is, He didn't.

And if you're feeling that way, He hasn't left you either. 

I can say this with confidence because the Bible tells us this. 

God will never leave you or let you down:

"Be strong. Take courage. Don't be intimidated. Don't give them a second thought because God, your God, is striding ahead of you. He's right there with you. He won't let you down; he won't leave you."

Even when we feel abandoned, we have to remind ourselves that our feelings are often misleading. Especially when we're in the middle of a crisis. 

James 4:8 says "Draw near to God and He will draw near to you." 

The further we feel from God, the harder we need to cling to Him. 

Remember Jesus said in John 14:18:

"I will not leave you orphaned. I'm coming back."

You are not alone. 

Father, many are coming to you today feeling alone and abandoned. We know Your Word says that You will never leave us and that You are always with us, but sometimes our feelings are misleading. Please remind us of all the ways You care for us every day and all the ways You are near to us. I pray  that You will wrap Your arms around all those reading this today. I pray for a restoration and that they will feel that unbreakable connection to You. We have to trust You and Your Word, Father. And that is sometimes so very hard to do. Thank You for loving us, Jesus. It's in Your name we pray, Amen.

Today we have Mia Koehene Guest Posting for us. Mia is a wife, mom to 3 and a Christian recording artist. You can find Mia's Bio after the article. The post she is graciously sharing with us was originally posted on her blog on November 6, 2012.
 
My New T-Shirt That I Was Given From The Pregnancy Center Today!

Today, of all days, Nov. 6th, Election day 2012, I had some free time so I went to visit our local Crisis Pregnancy Center. Lucky for me it was right down the road from my house. What I thought was going to be a quick in and out visit turned out to be so much more. I was so impressed with the facility and all that they do. I was moved by the warm hearts and passion to serve that I saw in every person I met. And most of all I was able to remember how near and dear to my heart matters of life are and have always been.

So, I thought I would take this time to share a little bit of history and my testimony regarding choosing life. As an adopted child, I never gave it too much thought, but as I grew up I began to think about the reality of what my birth mother may have gone through. Being the third child of my birth mother's while she was dealing with her own personal struggles could not have been easy. The easy choice for her could have been to abort, but she did not. I was born in Chicago, stayed in the hospital for six weeks until I came to live in a foster home in River Forest, IL.

My foster family cared for numerous children, but for some reason their daughter, Julie, decided to place a note on her mom's pillow the night I arrived that simply said "Can we keep this one?" And so they did!

But is wasn't that simple, while it was fine for them to do foster care for black children even though they were white, the movement at that time was to keep black babies with black families and not to do interracial adoptions. At the advice of their social worker they were advised that if they really did want to keep me they should lay low and not say anything or the most likely action would be to lose me. So my family laid low. For 12 years they didn't stir the pot until they thought it was time. So when I was 12, I stood before the judge and told him that I wanted Joan and Paul Grotelueschen to be my parents (even though they already were). I remember him asking me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I told him I wanted to be a pianist (go figure). And that was it, at age 12, I officially was adopted by the parents that God prepared in advance for me. It was a great day! I then received my first birth certificate with my name Maria Ladonna Grotelueschen.

Interestingly enough, since I was not adopted for 12 years, I always had my original birth certificate. Legally my name, until I was 12, was Ladonna Gene Sykes. As a young athlete I was constantly having to produce my birth certificate for state tournaments, so I knew the name of my birth mother and the hospital that I was born in. This led me to a place when I was 16 to call 411~information one day and ask for her phone number. Just like that I had it. I remember the day when I was 16 and I secretly called her. I remember her words "I have waited my whole life for this call." It was then that my friend and I jumped on a train and a bus into the inner city (keep in mind we were two suburban girls) to meet this woman.

There is so much to write about the whole experience, the pain, the joy, the unraveling of emotions from me and others in my family, but at the end of the day what God did through this relationship was all in his hand.

Fast forward 3 years to when I found myself in a place where I was 19, playing college volleyball and about to go on to play my Junior and Senior year with a full ride Volleyball scholarship and suddenly pregnant. PREGNANT! I remember the devastation, the disbelief of truly believing that this could happen to me! I remember very clearly my coach telling me to fix the situation because I had an opportunity to play volleyball and I would be making a big mistake if I had the baby. I remember a friend telling me to get an abortion because I had too much going for myself. In the midst of everything, my crazy life, the partying, the reckless living, I remember something about what they were saying not ringing true. I remember TRUTH. I knew that what was inside of me, as crazy as my life was at that time, was LIFE.

I remember the day I sat down to tell my parents that I was pregnant and the disappointment that filled their hearts, but I also remember their love. I remember crying, sobbing, wondering what on earth I was going to do. I still remember their love. I also remember the reality of my lifestyle at the time. I remember my Dad speaking in love to me that maybe the best thing for this child might be adoption as I was in no shape to raise a child of my own. That was my reality at the time. I was reckless, selfish and living a fast partying lifestyle. I also remember how this new reality changed my life. It was like hitting a wall and coming to a full stop. Instantly, I stopped smoking, drinking, and partying. I stopped and became a mom.

You know what else I remember? I remember the day my baby was born and I said to him "Good morning Sunshine" My life was different. I also remember the day that my Dad said to me "Thank you. Thank you for keeping him and not giving him up." He became my Dad's little man and always had a special place in his heart. I could not have done it without my parents.

The fact that my parents instilled the value of Life in my heart is the reason that I stand before you today. They spoke Truth into my heart as a child and even though I strayed away throughout my life, Truth reigned and was brought back to my mind in the darkest moments.

So back to my biological family.....One of the greatest joys from meeting my birth mother was meeting my grandparents, Uncles, my siblings and then ultimately having the joy of taking in my biological niece to live with us for a time. She was named Maria aka Little Mia. Through my adoption, I was able to turn back to where I was adopted from and take in my own niece for a time. That is God's hand, His sovereignty!

In a nutshell today was just a good day and visiting the Crisis Pregnancy Center was just a reminder to me of God's grace and mercy over our lives and I praise Him for all He has done and for how faithful He is.

PART 2: So here I am, a day after posting this, with more thoughts. As I thought about the adoption story, I left out one of the most joyous parts. After being a single Mom for a year and a half, I started dating an awesome guy, Bob, who not only chose to love me, but love my son...OUR son. The story continued in that my husband adopted our first born and the cycle of adoption continued! So thankful for 18+ years of marriage and family built on the foundation of Christ and His adoption of all of us into the body of Christ!

About Mia: "As a singer/songwriter, Mia's soulful music reflects the painful beauty of human struggles and a passion to worship the God who saves." ~Kris Wagner, Screenwriter

Mia lives as a testimony to God's grace and His forgiveness. As one who formerly lived in brokenness and shame, she rejoices that God has restored her and identified her as His own. Inspired to share this message of hope with others, she boldly proclaims the Gospel message of forgiveness to all that will hear. With a heart for the lost, she prays that others will be freed from the bondage of sin and self destruction through the one and only, Jesus Christ.Mia is the wife of Bob, a Christian School Principal and the mother of three children, Chris, Aaron and Miriam.~"Mia's life is a compelling story of sin, surrender, sanctification and song."~K. Wagner, Screenwriter

Mia's Family

Sex, erotica, mommy porn, BDSM, intimacy, kinky sex, and fantasies. If you consider yourself a Christian, you probably are blushing. These topics are generally not discussed in many church settings. Growing up in a mainline denomination, my church seemed pretty silent on sex and any surrounding topic, except the one sex rule - "don't do it". Not up for discussion or conversation or even explanation, it was pretty much a forbidden topic.

Nevermind anything kinky.

It's apparent that the church still isn't talking enough about sex or erotica, because when the "mommy porn" book series, Fifty Shades of Grey came out, over 70 million copies were sold in the first year, making it the fastest selling books of all time. Many who partook in the reading surely identified themselves as Christian women, whether they were teens to moms or even grandmas. When no one is talking in church circles about "how to better your sex life", how to get your sex life going at all, or whether kinky or BDSM sex is okay, many look for answers and discussions elsewhere, like in popular erotica books like Fifty Shades of Grey.

Authors Dannah Gresh and Dr. Juli Slattery have written a much needed book to speak into the church silence on this very intimate and yet very popular subject, sex and intimacy, and erotica. Pulling Back the Shades: Erotica, Intimacy and the Longings of a Woman's Heart was released early this month, and I (Alayna) had the opportunity to be on the launch team to promote it! And trust me, it's a book that you really want to get your hands on. Pulling Back the Shades gives an amazing answer and resource for women within the church to dealing with whether to read Fifty Shades of Grey or not and topics of how to handle the black, white, and grey areas of sex.

Juli read the series, Dannah didn't, and from their different vantage points, they dish the truth on sensitive sexual subjects, while tearing through the idea that sexuality and spirituality cannot coexist in a Christian woman. While many women say that reading erotica spices up their sex life, Juli and Dannah deal bluntly with the damage that reading erotica will cause to your marriage and your sex life in the long run.

"While erotica might originally heighten sexual feelings, over the long haul it erodes something much more important - intimacy. Whether you are married or single, you are looking for more than sex. Your body, your mind, and your spirit were created to crave intimacy... Sexual activity by itself is an empty substitute for true intimacy, and will never be enough." Pulling Back the Shades, page 91

Questions about BDSM (bondage, dominance, sadism and masochism) brought up by the popular Shades of Grey series are answered honestly and tactfully. They discuss what God says in the bible on the absolute rights and wrongs about sex, and they answer questions on the grey from a biblical view point. They also include and speak to many reader's stories of addiction to erotica and porn, dissatisfaction with sex in marriage and even in life after being sucked in by the fantasy of erotica.

If you have had questions or struggles in any sexual grey area, this book is a must read.

Pulling Back the Shades also has an entire section of questions about each chapter that are geared for group discussion, making this a great book to use as a talking point for women in your life who are interested in sex, intimacy and the role of erotica. And what amazing book would be complete without a bunch of really practical suggestions for both single and married women on how to deepen intimacy and avoid potential pitfalls or temptations in their own lives?!

One of the ideas that I found most interesting in what Dannah and Juli discussed, was the fact that erotica is fantasy. I'm sure most women, when asked, would agree. What makes this interesting, is that in most fantasy, like Lord of the Rings or Chronicles of Narnia, it's easy to see that the laws of nature and physics have changed, when you read of animal or monster like creatures with human characteristics and super human abilities. The rules of the fantasy world are understood to be different than the rules and laws in our world. Now in the fantasyland of erotica, the laws of nature have changed also. The laws of sex and relationship and morality and the heart are different, but we very likely won't recognize that fact. It's easy then to develop false expectations (sometimes without even realizing it) that our own relationships and sex lives will play out like scenes from erotic fantasy, and we are set up for disappointment and failure. It's an interesting fact that really spoke volumes to me about the dangers of erotica to my own marriage and sex life.

This book was awesome overall, and I highly suggest that you get over to Amazon to read the first chapter (for free!) right away. It's available in paperback from Amazon and Barnes and Noble or in an electronic version delivered wirelessly to your Kindle or other e-reader - immediately! Know where you stand on mommy porn, BDSM, and more. Whether you agree with Dannah and Juli or not, you owe it to yourself and your husband or future husband to read about the pitfalls and dangers of erotica. Read this book, and guard your marriage from erotica, and the subtle lies that it's not really a big deal. It is, and this book will show you over and again just how important it is to guard your life, heart and marriage against the pitfalls present in the grey (and black!) areas of your sex life.

Alayna

And just in case you needed any more reasons to read this book, here are a few more awesome quotes from Pulling Back the Shades:

"We want to be very clear: your sexual desire is not wrong. God created you to be sexual. Your body and your mind are wired to long for sexual pleasure and intimacy. Unfortunately, many religious messages separate being a sexual woman from being a spiritual woman." pg 25

"Sex has been dragged through the mud so thoroughly that most people can't even comprehend that it is intended to be something holy. Sex trafficking, pornography, friends with benefits, sexual perversions, and addictions - they all paint an animalistic and degrading picture of something that was created to be a glorious expression of human and divine love." pg 45

Our friend Crista Stewart has a new book out in her Little Frog series!

This one is called Jealousy of Little Frog.

Crista started writing the series several years ago in an effort to reach children with God's Word in a way that was easy for them to understand. I was so excited to see her first issue come out called The Little Frog, followed by The Little Frog Learns the Golden Rule.

FROG is Crista's way of reminding children to Forever Rely On God.

In Jealousy of Little Frog, Little Frog deals with something all of us have had to deal with: The green-eyed monster of jealousy. Little Frog's human friend, Chase, brings home a donkey named Jack. Immediately, Little Frog is jealous of all the time Chase is spending with Jack.

Instead of talking  to Chase about his feelings, Little Frog sulks and pouts and won't give Jack a chance. It isn't until Little Frog is in church (tucked safely in Chase's backpack pocket) that he hears the pastor talk about jealousy and how Joseph in the Bible had 13 brothers who were jealous of Joseph. Because Joseph's father gave Joseph a beautiful coat, his brothers becane angry and sold Joseph as a slave. 

It wasn't until many years later that Joseph and his family were reunited, and with God's help, was able to forgive his brothers for what they had done.

Little Frog realizes that he needs to ask God to help him with his feelings about Jack. And of course, God delivers and Little Frog is able to become friends with Jack. 

The book is sweet, the pictures colorful and vibrant, and the message is wonderful! I {Mandy} read the story to my kids before bed last night and all of them, ages 8 to 22 months, listened and looked at the pictures. 

Crista has done it again! She has taken a story from the Bible and broken it down to a kids' level of understanding and presented a practical application for everyday life. 

Something else I love is that this book, published by Tate Publishing, offers an audio download and a Parent Resource Page in the back of the book. Crista has thought this through and has provided talking points for parents to engage their children and further the conversation with them. The Parent Resource page suggests reading the actual story of Joseph in Genesis, have the child(ren) write or draw a picture of a time he/she was jealous, and look up more verses (provided) about jealousy. As an added bonus, Crista provides facts about donkeys. I thought that was a cute touch. 

Aside from Crista being a dear friend, I highly recommend buying this book for your children. It's one you won't mind reading night after night and, in my thinking, the more ways I can drive home Biblical points in a way my children understand and enjoy, the better!

You can order Crista's book in paper back or Kindle edition by clicking HERE. 

And very exciting: Crista has agreed to give away a soft cover book to one lucky reader! 

CONTEST IS NOW CLOSED

What are you a victim of? In this day and age it seems to me {Lindsey} that we are all a victim of something. These some things can range from petty to intense, life changing, never forgotten situations. Sometimes we wake up in the morning feeling sick, sometimes our marriages aren’t what we had hoped, sometimes we find ourselves in situations where being and feeling like a victim is completely justified. Maybe you have been physically or sexually abused, maybe you are a victim of rape, maybe your parents abandoned you.

Each of us is a victim. We are victims in a sinful world, we experience things that God never intended for us to experience. We are often justified in our anger. Our desire for justice is understandable, but we are a people who are not blameless in nature. We don’t hold the rights to seek justice, to throw stones.

They kept demanding an answer, so he stood up again and said, "All right, but let the one who has never sinned throw the first stone!" John 8:7

Yet we pick up those burdensome stones that always seem to come hand in hand with victimization and we carry them around. We choose to be a victim of the things of this world, we choose to carry the burdens of those stones we are not capable of throwing. Here’s the good news. We don’t have to carry those stones any more. We don’t have to be a victim of earthly pain. We can choose to trade in our victim card. We can stop looking at ourselves as victims of circumstance and start seeing ourselves for what we really are, victim’s of God’s Grace.

A friend of mine, one you may all be familiar with, Darlene Schacht from Time-Warp Wife posted her thoughts just a few days ago. What she said is beautiful and complex to really wrap your mind around, but oh so true. “When I got to thinking about a painting, I realized that some shadows are light and some are so dark. Those are the heart-breaking ones. God sees the big picture. Only He knows the purpose.”

We live in a sinful world, we will experience horrible things in life due to the sin that surrounds us. But we, the victims of God’s Grace, get to live confidently knowing that He who has called us to His purpose will complete this good work in us (Romans 8:28 and 2 Timothy 1:9). We can live knowing that as those dark strokes are being painted in our lives that the artist can see the big picture that is coming. He can see how this particular time of suffering will allow us to be the person He needs for us to be. The person who can reach the victims of this world who still do not know the Grace of God.