It’s almost Easter.  One of my {Alayna's} favorite parts of the Easter narrative is the story about Lazarus.  He is one interesting character.  His claim to fame may just be that he died – twice.  Crazy, I know!  There is of course a back story here, and it can be found in the Bible, in John 11.  Go ahead and read it – it’s an amazing story with quite possibly one of the most amazing miracles that Jesus performed.  I always love this miracle for what it evokes in my own life and mind.  First, let me retell the story…

Lazarus, a friend of Jesus,who lives with his sisters Mary and Martha, is sick.  His sisters send word to Jesus that Lazarus is sick and at death's door.  While the message is still in transit to reach Jesus who is staying a day’s travel away, (remember no email, cell phones, or carrier pigeons) Lazarus dies.  His family is in mourning.  They readied his body for burial by wrapping him in graveclothes, and they placed him in a tomb shortly after his death.  Jesus gets the message that Lazarus is sick, and he stays where he is for two more days and then makes the day long journey to visit Lazarus and his sisters.  When Jesus arrives, four days have passed between the death of Lazarus and Jesus’ arrival.  Mary and Martha are distraught, and Jesus weeps.  Then he visits the tomb.  While there,Jesus tells them to open Lazarus’ tomb.  WHAT?!  Martha says, "Hey, he’s been dead for four days.  Seriously, Jesus.  If we open it, there is going to be a stench of all stenches..."  But they open it up, and Jesus calls, "Lazarus, get out here!"  And HE DOES!  Lazarus stumbles out of the tomb, all wrapped up in his graveclothes.  Jesus commands, "Unwrap him and let him go!"  And I’m sure there was much rejoicing as Lazarus is reunited with his sisters in life! 

I love this story, because I can envision myself as Lazarus and in my mind the graveclothes that bind him, also bind me.  There were graveclothes that bound me in spiritual death and destruction before salvation.  Even after Jesus had called me from the tomb in a life-changing moment of salvation, "Alayna, get out here!!", I still was bound up in the graveclothes just like Lazarus.  Thankfully Jesus said, "Unwrap her and let her go!"  And with that, Jesus commanded that I be set me free from the death and destruction that bound me.  Unwrapping the graveclothes in my own life was a process that took time, as Jesus helped me to grow and change in Him.  

Have you ever felt like you had graveclothes on you?    Have you been tangled up in darkness and death?  Maybe you weren’t in danger of physical death, but you felt as though your life was encased in darkness, a heaviness that you couldn't explain.  Like Eeyore with his cloud is your life and the darkness.  Maybe it is activities that you were, or are, caught up in.  Things that lead to physical and spiritual destruction and death: drugs, drinking, sexual escapades, eating disorders, the occult, cutting, and more...  Activities that perhaps at one time you seemed to control, but now they seem to have a life of their own.  There is a dark heaviness that is in your life, breathing down your neck, threatening a hostile takeover and binding you in death and destruction. 

Maybe you have no clue what I am talking about, because you’ve lived the life free from outwardly dark activities.  Maybe for you, the destructive behavior is more subtle: perfectionism, pride, the need to be right, the need to be thin, the desire for perfect children, the need to be liked and so on.   Things that even seemed like a good idea at the time, but have since turned into pursuits that seem to control you and bind you.  The New Year's resolution to lose five pounds that has turned into something that decides what you eat (nothing), where you spend your time (the gym), and what you think about (food or the lack thereof).  

Do you have graveclothes in your life that hold you in darkness, death, and control your life?  The truth is that when we trust in Jesus for our salvation, we have crossed over from death to life (John 5:24), and we are free from spiritual death.  But sometimes our lives still seem to be wrapped up in the graveclothes, which need to be taken off.  Thankfully, Jesus commands “Unbind her, and let her go!”  He proclaims freedom for the captives and the oppressed (Luke 4:18) and says that we are a new creation in Him (2Corinthians 5:17).  As we grow in Him, learn His truths found in the bible, and participate in relationships and community, we are transformed and the graveclothes are unbound.  Thank You, Jesus!  

What are the graveclothes in your life?  What binds you up in death?  What occupies your mind?  Is it the things of Christ or is it anything but?  What do you spend your time on?  Is it things with eternal value or things to distract you from God?  Identify the things that bind you up, and keep you from Christ.  Confess them to God and ask for His help and freedom from the graveclothes.   

Jesus was on Earth for just thirty-three years.  The major part of his ministry was during the final three years.  Sometimes, when I think about the impact he made in just that short blip of history, I {Ginny} just can’t help but stand in awe.  Then I think, “How did he do it?   How did he impact generations to come from just a short time in ministry?”  He IS God.  That helps.  But that isn’t the answer I’ve been realizing as of late. 

Jesus made the most of every minute.

He didn’t waste large portions of time on frivolous things.  Every minute was deliberate and for a purpose. 

As I sat and pondered that, I began to look at my own life.  If I blocked off how I used my time during the day, could I say that I spent most of my time living deliberately as a mother, a wife, and an ambassador for the Lord?  The answer is humbling.  It is a big NO.

I spend most of the day with my smart phone in hand, the iPad in the other,  watching TV after the kids go to bed, or zoning out in the car during the 3 hours I drive my kids around to school.  That doesn’t sound very deliberate, does it?

Then it hit me.  If that is how I spend my days, how does that impact my kids and others around me?  First off, if you are an iPad and smartphone-happy mother, more than likely, you will raise kids who are gadget happy.  Further, it shows my kids MY priorities.  If gadgets are my priority, then where do my kids fall?  If I say, “Hold on a sec, Sweetie – I have to see if my buddy replied to my Facebook message.  After that, I’ll play with you,” or “I know you want to go to the park, but I’m creating the most amazing Pinterest board.  Let me finish that first, and then we’ll see if we have time to go,” how does that make them feel?  

If I don’t want my kids to grow up feeling less than worthy and I don’t want them to put their time priorities in gadgets, what DO I want them to put their priorities in?

I pray more than anything that their number one priority be to seek the Lord and serve Him with all their might.

I want them to have a positive lasting impact on the world for Christ and feel that they are truly worthy of the everlasting love of their Heavenly Father.

If that is what I want for them, then I need to be a role model of that.  Therefore, some obvious changes need to happen.  I don’t believe gadgets or television are evil, but I think, just like any food or drug, they can become unhealthy if taken to an extreme.  I’m going to set times during the day, when my kids are not needing my attention, that I can check email, Facebook, Pinterest, etc and watch TV.  When I’m in the car for hours a day, I want to start memorizing Scripture, praying for those around me and for the ministries I’m involved with, and talking more with my kids.  Finally, I need to have one-on-one time with God EVERY DAY, not just when it is convenient.  I need to structure my day around God and not fit God into the structure of my day.

These are big goals, but necessary if I want to start living more deliberately and to be a better example for my children.

What is keeping you from living more deliberately during your day?  If you looked at how you spend your day, do you find yourself spending time on things that serve little purpose for eternity and can hinder your walk with the Lord – your relationship with your children and spouse – their relationship with the Lord?  Pray about how you can restructure your time to focus on the Lord’s priorities.

Ephesians 5:15-17 (ESV)  “Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is.”

Matthew 6:33 (ESV) “ But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.”

"I am NEVER going to homeschool," I (Annice) said for months. "I don't have the patience or feel led to do so." God had other ideas. Our oldest daughter was in preschool last year and went to a private school that goes up to 8th grade. I thought to myself, "This is great! We will put all 4 of our children through this school and they will get a great Godly education." God was working on my heart. 

Took her for Kindergarten orientation at the school, she "passed" and I was handed registration papers. I decided to take them home and fill them out to be mailed in later that week. There they sat for a few weeks. I even got a few emails and phone calls from the school asking me if she was going to attend in the fall. God was making me think in a new direction. 

A few "God moments" happened during the year and I began to see into the near future and felt the Lord calling me to be a homeschool mom. Oh how I questioned Him about this "calling" He had for me. "I can't homeschool my kids", "I'm not smarter than a preschooler, are You nuts!", "I have 3 other children at home, what do I do with them?", "My parents will not approve of me doing this, not like it mattered, and I'll never hear the end of it from them." 

I decided that I would homeschool but do so in co-op form. I could do that, the tutor would teach them and I would just have to go over it with them during the week and add phonics and math, no biggie! Nope, God gave me a different plan.

During the Summer of 2012, God led me to John 15:1-8, which says:

“I am the true vine, and My Father is the vine-dresser.  
Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit, He takes away; 
and every branch that bears fruit, He prunes it so that it may bear more fruit.  

You are already clean because of the word which I have spoken to you. 
Abide in Me, and I in you.

As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself unless it abides in the vine, 
so neither can you unless you abide in Me. 

I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me and I in him,
he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing. 

If anyone does not abide in Me, he is thrown away as a branch and dries up; 
and they gather them, and cast them into the fire and they are burned.  

If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, 
ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. 

My Father is glorified by this, that you bear much fruit, 
and so prove to be My disciples."

Then the name of my homeschool came into my mind. Vine & Branches Schoolhouse was established in 2012. Currently there are only two students attending, but that is not what God wants. God gave me a passion to make this Schoolhouse even bigger.

Currently, I am in the process of getting a domain name, web page and want to Trademark the name Vine and Branches Schoolhouse. The vision I was given by God is:

• Get a building to hold our Schoolhouse.
• Have the one room schoolhouse feel for some subjects and break out into levels for other subjects.
• Have nursery available for Moms with babies or children not in school.
• Write some curriculum ourselves.
• Get a church, company or person to come along side us and provide some financial support.
• Grow as big as He wants us to grow. He is the vine and we are the branches!
• Serve the community that we are located.
• Be a community of believers who choose to follow hard after the Lord and to bring up our children to choose to do the same. Teach them to be sacrificial servants, courageous leaders, responsible, respectful and lovers of the Lord.   

Wow! That is a lot for this mom of 4 to take in and process. My husband and I would also love to start our own church, but not quite yet. God knows that we aren't ready for that right now.

Isaiah 64:8 say, "But now, O LORD, You are our Father, We are the clay, and You our potter; And all of us are the work of Your hand." This verse is where I am right now...allowing the Lord to mold me and make me whatever He desires. I want to live for Him and abide in Him always.

Dear Heavenly Father,

Thank you for giving me the vision of Vine and Branches Schoolhouse and for walking along side me as I take steps to grow this vision in to a reality. I am so thankful for all you have been doing in my life lately and want to use this ministry to share that with other women.  To encourage other women and let them know that despite what you go through in life, You can turn it around and make all things new. In Your Son's precious name I pray, Amen.

I (Mandy) actually heard them before I saw them.

As I rounded the corner, I saw the harried mom pushing her heaping cart while trying unsuccessfully to corral her three rambunctious boys from the toy aisle. I knew her.

I stopped to say hello and watched as two of her sons rode up and down the aisle on bikes they'd pulled off the shelf.

I plastered a smile on my face and nodded as she explained that they were driving her crazy. She complimented me on how well behaved my kids were. I waved her off and gave one of my stock answers, "oh you should see them at home..." while mentally patting myself on the back because my kids weren't acting like hers.

She shared with me that she was expecting again. I offered a "congratulations!" but couldn't stop thinking that she couldn't handle the 3 she had...

Then another time, I watched as a mom begged, threatened and cajoled her toddler to get off the floor in the bread aisle at the grocery store. The defiant toddler, whose face was red with rage, refused, but continued to scream and stomp his feet. As I passed by I saw the mom hand the little guy a package of candy. Apparently that was the crux of his meltdown, because he jumped up and skipped along, happy as can be.

I shook my head and thought to myself, "She shouldn't have given in. No wonder he acts like such a brat."

I listened in disbelief as the woman told me how her son had broken his leg riding his roller blades down their steep hill. My eyes betrayed exactly how I felt as I stared at her with my mouth hanging open. She laughed it off and poo-poo'd my reaction. One thought reverberated in my head as I sat and stared at her, "How could you be so careless with your kids? How could you allow them to do something so dangerous, knowing the consequences could be dire?"

Have you been where I've been? Have you passed judgment on another without so much as blinking an eye?

I claim to be filled with the love of Christ. I recite scripture and post Bible verses on Facebook, and I say I support women and proclaim the desire to reach moms with the love of Christ...

And then I silently pass judgment with a pasted-on smile smeared across my face.

I am that woman.

And how I wish I could tell you this revelation came to me during my quiet time with the Lord in the wee hours of the morning while sipping coffee before anyone else awoke, but that would be a big. fat. lie.

Instead, it came rushing down on my head yesterday like a freight train going at mach speed.

Yesterday--the day I left my 8 month old baby in a cart by himself at a store-- for a loooong time--while I shopped with my family--completely unaware that he wasn't even with us.

HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?! HOW DID YOU NOT KNOW?! HOW COULD YOU DO THAT?!

I honestly don't know.

I have relived the scene a million times. Each time I gasp at how I could have let it happen.

There were a string of events that led up to us leaving him there, but it still baffles me.

It ended happy. Thank you, Jesus. Thank you, thank you, Jesus.

Because he was safe and actually asleep. A kind woman came across him and took him to the office. The police were called and he was kept safe until we were reunited.

But once the realization hit that he wasn't with us, we were terrified. We raced through the store searching everywhere. I grabbed a woman's arm and told her through tears that we couldn't find our baby. She yelled that he was in the office. She had heard he was found. And then she looked at me and said, "How did this happen?!"

I just looked at her and said, "I don't know."

I felt the enormity of her condemnation. But it would have to wait because I was busy sentencing myself as a horrible, unfit mother.

I was also simultaneously rushed with relief that he was okay and safe.

Making my way to the office felt like an eternity. I never knew that store was so big. And I was dragging along 3 other children while a fourth was crying in the cart.

Everyone watched us. Everyone stared. I knew they were all thinking the same thing; "How did she lose her baby? What kind of mother loses her child?"

I was thinking the same thing.

When I finally got into the back room, just as they were paging me over the intercom, I saw my husband Joe. He was already back there.

And then I saw the baby. Fast asleep in his car seat in the cart.

I lost it.

Every emotion I was bottling in those few short minutes since realizing he was missing and finding out he was safe exploded.

I was practically hysterical. I apologized over and over. To the baby. To everyone in the room. To God.

All the scenarios of what could have happened still played through my mind. The adrenaline I'd had coursing through my veins surged.

The realization that I LEFT my baby behind was more than I could bear.

Nothing like that has ever happened before. Ever.

I take all 6 of our kids to stores and restaurants by myself all the time. Not one incident.

Joe and I have this down to a system. We have been to this store countless times before and followed the same path hundreds of times before...all without incident.

What made yesterday different?

I honestly don't know.

I have thought about it and rehashed it so many times I get sick.

I don't have an answer.

But I can tell you that I didn't like being on the receiving end of the condemning stares and harsh words.

It did nothing to help the situation.

I also didn't feel justified in defending myself because I agreed with what the others were saying and thinking.

But I am getting to the point where I can tell myself that I am forgiven. I can look at my baby without guilt and shame literally weighing me down.

But it's changed me. And I hope for forever.

I don't want to be the one adding to that mom's guilt/stress/shame anymore.

I want to truly love like Christ...freely, unconditionally, and to all without finding fault.

And I don't want to ever be the one lobbing flaming arrows into another's already broken heart.

I wish I'd come to this realization before, but I tend to be a hard sell for lessons.

But I get it. And I don't want to lose it. I want all those flowery words in my bio to be true.

And I hope you'll join me in putting down the scales of justice.

I know it will be very difficult forgiving myself and moving on, but I kind of hope a little bit of the sting remains so that I never forget how awful it is to be suffering and beating myself up while others join in.

There's a story behind what happened; behind our family and how we love our kids so much that I literally lay awake at night listening in case one of them calls out to me; planning how I would save them all if we were to have a fire, praying for God to protect them. My heart aches for each one of them because it's so filled with love. I obsess over how to protect them because I never want harm to come to them...

But none of those people yesterday knew any of that...or cared.

And I want to remember that on the other side of the broken heart I see, or the harassed face on a mom whose kids are acting out in the store, is her story. The whole story. More than meets the eye and more than I could possibly ever know being on the outside looking in.

And more importantly, Christ is there holding that mom's hand, forgiving her even before she can begin to think about forgiving herself.

Dear Heavenly Father,

Please fill my heart with Your love for others. Please let me see others through Your eyes and with Your tender forgiveness. So often I am quick to rush to judgment, sometimes without even realizing I'm doing it. I pray that I remain humble and aware of my short-comings. Please let me love from the heart instead of condemning from my pedestal. Let me love like You love. 


Thank you for your forgiveness and Your mercies, which are new every morning. 


It's in Your precious name I pray, Amen