2 Thessalonians 2:8 
"We loved you so much that we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well, because you had become so dear to us."


This verse stopped me in my tracks recently. This is a letter from the Apostle Paul to the church in Thessalonica. Paul had mentored them and worked very closely with them to share the love of Christ and to help make them teachers and leaders in the faith.  

This verse takes me way back to when I {Mandy} was a teen. I had people in my life who were willing to love me and teach me about the love of Christ. They not only mentored me and taught me...they shared their lives with me. 

I can blog, write, talk, and "chat" all the live-long day. I have no problem taking dinners, gifting hand-me-down clothes to children, or even leading a Bible study--but when it comes to really, really sharing my life with others, I hesitate. In fact, I will often more than hesitate--sometimes I completely turn my back. 

Why?

The easy, accepted answer is because I'm very busy. It's no secret that I am a wife and I have 6 children, all under the age of 10. I homeschool 3 of them and I also teach at church and lead ministries. It's perfectly acceptable for me to be "busy". I can get by with the surface, "easy" things like I mentioned above and I seem like I am active in loving on others. 

But the truth is, when it comes to getting messy--real, invested, authentic, down to the nitty gritty--I choke. 

I get very uncomfortable about opening myself up to others and...to be truthful...to allowing others to open up to me. You see, when we allow someone to become vulnerable to us, it brings with it responsibility. When someone shares their heart with you, how do you walk away? Once you allow others to become vulnerable, you are invested. 

So here I find myself faced with a decision: allow others to open up to me and become invested in their lives, therefore requiring me to make an honest effort and love them like Christ OR keep everyone at a safe distance and never allow myself or them to share who they really are.

I wonder where we would be as a culture, as a church, and as a nation if we took the time to become truly invested in one another--to be vulnerable and to let others be vulnerable with us. 

What would our communities or even our world look like if we shared the gospel of Christ and also shared our lives? The greatest changes in my life were made through relationship. Sermons, articles, books, and blog posts can be very moving, but, by far, the greatest influence on my life has been in the safety and intimacy of relationship when we weren't afraid to get messy and when we took the time to really share our lives with one another. 

Even admitting the above, I still struggle with it...with getting real. Maybe it's because I have been burned in the past when I allowed myself to be transparent with the wrong people. Maybe someone took advantage of my willingness to shoulder their burden. Whatever it is, I can't allow past struggles to dictate how I minister and connect in the future. 

Today I am making an effort to really welcome people into my life. To allow them to see me for who I really am and to allow them to be who they are...and love them anyway. Even if things get messy, Christ can still be glorified and found in the middle of it. 


Will you join me?

Have you been to the Mountain top? Have you had that experience where you feel like you could literally reach out and touch the rays of heaven with your bare hand? Have you worshiped with the body of believers in one voice praising God and you know...you just know He is present and you feel the earth move because you know without a doubt that God is in the house? Those times when your hope is sure, you have no doubts, you have no fear, your faith is strong and you command the mountains to move and they do?

I had several mountain top experiences this weekend, mostly because I was literally in the mountains of Arizona with 5,000+ other believers at a three-day Christian music festival. It sounds like fun, right? Don't get me wrong, it was. But my view was a little different than most. My view came from working backstage, arranging vendors, getting artists were they needed to be, greeting people, taking complaints, enforcing the rules, keeping wandering fans from sneaking backstage....you know, the fun stuff. My view was in the details SO THAT others could walk in and listen to some of the most amazing artists in the Christian Music Industry. I have been to the mountain top!

The reality for me in working with the many bands and artists was that I probably saw a total of 20 minutes where I actually stood still and watched the show over a three day period. I'm gonna take this moment to set the scene. The organization I work with brought in Mercy Me, Jeremy Camp, The Newsboys, Rend Collective, Sanctus Real and the list goes on. These are pretty big names in the Christian Music industry. They do GREAT shows. They provide amazing ministry opportunities for the saved, the unsaved and the curious. They lift of the name of Jesus and they have fun while they are at it! There is a vibe in the arena and it's exciting, it's thrilling. Our concert attendees love it, they walk away filled up, exhausted and making plans for next year when we do it all again. It's pretty awesome.

But for me, my mountain top experience came from something else. It came through the little things that the average concert goer does not get to see. These are the things I reflected on during my ride down the mountain after a long exhausting weekend of work and very little sleep.

Friends I am exhausted as I write, but I have been to the Mountain Top and I have seen the Glory of God working in the little things to the point that I can't even count them all.

I saw how last minute vendors dropped out and wanted their deposits back and once we finally set them all up on site, I praised God because there was an error in our measurements and they would not have all fit.

I saw how a "dirt devil" (mini tornado) swept through our outdoor vendor area, picked up one tent (that had four 10 gallon jugs of water tied to each post) and lifted it 5 feet in the air and slammed it back down to the ground. It was the only tent where the vendor showed up late and did not have the workers or kids in it because they missed an exit.

I saw an autistic boy who saved his own money all year to by a three day pass to the event so that he could see the band Kutless because this band had changed his life. He tried for weeks to get a pass to their meet and great which was already over sold. I heard how he asked my co-worker "Why doesn't God want me to meet Kutless" and I heard how he cried when my co-worker made it happen and he got to meet the band and tell them how God used them to change his life.

I stood by as we tried to move bands from one place to another to keep schedules and flows and how one artist in particular could not keep up with us because he wanted to meet, talk, shake hands, learn the names of every concert goer, worker and volunteer that he passed. Why, because he genuinely cares.

I saw how walls between similar ministries were broken down.

I saw friends of mine from out of state (that has asked me if there was a way they could perform at this event and I told them there was not) showed up to serve and volunteer in one of the ministry booths and when there was a "no show" stepped up without hesitation when I asked my boss if they could fill in and he said "Yes", but they only have 15 minutes. THEN, I saw how there was a mix up with another band and my friends where then asked to do a full set outdoors and rocked it!!

I saw tired, exhausted, workers and artists say "I'm sorry" and "I forgive you."

I saw a tent full of Sunday morning people worship the Lord.

I saw people that drove up and could not find a hotel and slept in their cars, just to meet someone that opened their home to them the next two nights.

I saw People raise their hand and sponsor Compassion International children to the point that we ran out of packets to give people to do monthly sponsorships.

I saw a women who had no money left come to the venue the last day and the first person she ran into said "I have an extra ticket."

I met two women who came to the event together that had birthdays on the same day and had both been declared dead in car accidents two miles apart from each other on THE SAME road. One of those women is now dating the coroner that pronounced her dead...( ok, I had to take a picture with these ladies) Check it out below.

I saw my co-workers praying with people at the event, at McDonald's and at Walmart. I saw prayer slips and requests being prayed over individually.

I saw a young women who used to be the face on a Compassion Child sponsorship packet stand up and tell us how she is real and how sponsoring a child changes lives. I saw her tell us how she is now getting her Phd and I saw a room of people respond and not leave any children sponsor packets behind.

I have so much more.....the list goes on......I'm exhausted, but my heart is full. I have been to the mountain top and I have seen the hand of God work miracles, work in spite of us, work through us and go before us.

I have been to the mountains of Prescott Valley, AZ and now I am back in the valley of Phoenix, AZ.

What does God have for me now that I am down? sleep...... rest...... vacation?
I believe that what God has for me...for us in the valleys of our lives is very similar to what He has for us when we are standing on top of the mountain. In the valley or way up high, we get to see the glory of our God at work through the little things (and the big things) that no one sees. We simply need to be present and available with our eyes and hearts open.

Friends, I am signing off, I'm gonna take a nap...a really long one and wake up tomorrow, ready to serve, be filled and pour it all out again.
 
Our God is amazing!

Happy Father's Day to all the dads out there! While it's a holiday where some women celebrate their dad and the father of their children with great joy, it's also a day filled with sadness for many.

For women whose dads have passed away.

For men who yearn for fatherhood, but have trouble conceiving.

For fathers who conceived a child, but lost that child to abortion, miscarriage or still birth.

For women and men whose dads were physically or sexually abusive, physically or mentally

absent, or virtually nonexistent.

There is certainly pain in a day dedicated to dads, when the idea of a perfect or even just an okay dad fills your heart with sadness, because your experience with fatherhood is so far from okay.

Even those of us who had pretty awesome dads (I did!), still can see and feel ways that our dad's human flaws impacted our childhood. Despite being good dads, they still miss the mark, they still sin. No dad can be everything to every child. I realize that even if my husband and I are pretty amazing parents to our children, they still may need some amount of therapy. I understand that I'm not perfect, not a perfect wife, not a perfect mom, not a perfect Christian or a perfect writer.

It's part of my human condition.  It's part of my husband's.

And yours.

You can't be the perfect parent.

Your children may need therapy.

Your children may grow up and bemoan the ways that you jacked them up.

And you may have been a pretty darn good parent.

But the truth is there is only one perfect parent.

Only one parent who will lead us, guide us, discipline us, and love us perfectly. And only one parent that will lead, guide, discipline, and love our children perfectly.

And that perfect parent is God.

So moms and dads who feel like they are failing at parenthood... You probably are in some way, and it's going to be okay. Don't put the pressure on yourself to be perfect. You can't be. Trust in God to be the parent He created you to be. And trust your children to God.

Men and women whose earthly fathers have failed them in so many ways... The hurt that you have deep down inside is real. Our fathers weren't perfect, and some were downright evil, but you don't have to live with the pain they inflicted forever. Those hurts can be healed. You don't have to be your earthly father either, you aren't doomed to repeat the past. God is a God who heals. He is a God who restores. He is a God of redemption and new beginnings. Go to Him, and let Him into the places where you are hurt and scarred. Trust Him for healing and a new beginning.

To the moms who wish their husbands, boyfriends, or babies' daddies would be more godly, less mean or hurtful, and overall just better dads... You can't fix him. You can't change him. You can't nag enough to get him to do what you want him to do. You need to pray and rely on the Perfect Father to step in, both to meet your man where he's at and also to be what your kids need. You can rely on God. Even when you can't rely on your man, you can still trust and rely on God.

For our Hallmark holiday dedicated to dads, look to the Perfect Father to fulfill your heart and make you whole.  Because men (and women) will disappoint. Look for God to love you perfectly. Look for Him to heal your heart and make you new. Look for Him to be everything that you need Him to be. Direct your kids to the Perfect Father, too. Neither our earthly fathers nor any other earthly man will ever make us whole. When we look to be fulfilled by them, we find a whole host of problems, because our hearts were only made for God to satisfy.

We will never be led wrong if we seek for God to fulfill us and make us whole.

Are you looking for God to love and fulfill you today?

I {Mandy} watched Mia back out of my driveway today as she waved out her window long after she had driven down the road. My kids chased after her for a few yards, running along the grass that lined the street.

My eyes filled up with tears and I had a lump in my throat.

Even though we'd only known each other a few short months and had only just met in person the Friday prior (as in only 3 days ago!) I feel like I've always known her.

Mia, as you may know, is the newest member of Deliberate Women. She reached out to us in mid-March after stumbling onto our website. She expressed interest in joining our team and ministering to women by being authentic and deliberate.

We vetted her and vetted her some more. After much Googling, website sleauthing, Facebook creeping, YouTube scouring, phone conversations, emails, and a Skype session we were unanimous...she was absolutely perfect for us!

Fast forward to this weekend where we were all in the same room at the same time (except Annice who was sorely missed.) It was amazing and surreal.

As I looked around the table at five beautiful faces, I was overwhelmed more than once at the amazing people God has placed in my path.

As I looked at their beautiful faces and listened to their thoughtful perspectives on where Deliberate Women should go next, and felt the excitement of the possibilities of where God has us headed, I was filled to the brim with admiration and thankfulness that I have the honor of serving all of you shoulder to shoulder with all of them.  

All of that to say...look around yourself today.

Look at who is in your life.

Do you have women who back you? Who support you? Who make you want to be better? Who encourage you to serve the Lord with your whole heart and be intentional--deliberate--in doing so? 

If you do, embrace them. Be intentional with encouraging them, with building them up and with actively nurturing that/those relationship(s). 

If you don't, seek that out: Women's groups, MOPS meetings, women's ministry events...look for those who have a heart for Jesus. Cultivate those relationships with other like-minded women who will hold you accountable and be the iron sharpening iron that we all need. 

I am so blessed to have this team and others in my life who make me want to be a better person and a more intentional, deliberate servant of God. 

Pray with me today:

Father, we are blown away by how you minister to us in every area of our lives. There is no need too small for your careful, attentive, loving eye. You love us in untold ways and seek to surround us with others who love You. For those already in our lives, please don't allow us to get lazy in our nurturing of those relationships. Please keep our eyes on You as we work together to sharpen one another to serve You. If we don't have those women in our lives, please lead us to them. Please let us see others through Your eyes so that we don't lose sight of who we should be confiding in and holding fast to, and which relationships we should be actively pursuing.

Thank You for loving us, Father. Thank you for always being with us and for always wanting what's best for us. 

It's in Your Holy Son's name we pray, Amen.

If you haven't already, meet our team and get to know us better by clicking HERE.

When I [Ginny] walked down the aisle at my wedding, I walked down as an individual.  I had amazing dreams about what marriage would be like, and all I could focus on was how grateful I was that Tim was waiting for me at the end of the aisle.  He was such a PERFECT choice for me, and at that time, it was truly easy to focus on the things I considered perfections and overlook the things I wasn't as excited about.

Time changes things.  As we lived together, we began to notice the little quirks in each other. 

*I left my clothes on the floor - *His closet is neat as a pin

*I internalize things and run during arguments - *He needs to talk things out

*I dream - *He analyzes

*He chews his food really loud

*I leave the lights on all the time

*He talks with his mouth full

*I lose my keys ALL THE TIME

Sound familiar? 

At first, they don't seem like a big deal, but as time goes on, those quirks turn into frustrations, and those frustrations, if not kept in check with grace, patience, and loving communication, can lead to bigger problems.  It truly takes a team effort to make it through marriage. 

It is this team approach that Ashleigh Slater, in her book Team Us, emphasizes. 

If you think you have read everything there is about marriage, think again. Ashleigh, with the help of her husband, brings a fresh team-oriented perspective to marriage that will entertain, inspire, and challenge you to take a new look at your marriage. Whether you are about to get married, a newlywed, or living in a seasoned marriage, you will find wisdom within the pages of the book that will bring life to your marriage in a way you never thought possible. This book is a must for those going through pre-marital counseling to go through together as a couple.

I am in what I consider a beautiful and strong marriage, and I still found new ideas and things to consider that will bring even more life to our partnership in the coming years.

What I love most about her book is her casual style.  I feel like I am having beautiful conversation over coffee with an old friend while her husband peeks his head in for a comedic intervention every once in awhile.  While reading, you will find yourself laughing, crying, or feeling other emotions you didn't even know were there.  I even felt surprise when she creatively connected marriage and the Olympic sport of curling!

Sometimes when I read a book, I feel like the people writing it are perfect, but Ashleigh's stories remind us that they have not had a perfect marriage.  She and Ted share about clashes they had in parenting styles, personality differences that presented challenges, and moving issues.

Her chapter about the Weeping Years really spoke to me.  I cried with her as she shared about a painful miscarriage and the challenges they faced as a couple through this and other challenges.  I could almost hear the "Oceans" soundtrack playing in the background as I read about her experiences.  All of what they went through could have easily ended their marriage, but instead, their marriage strengthened, and they share how in Team Us.

This is a book that you can read on your own, but you are encouraged to read it in conjunction with your spouse.  There are discussion questions at the end of each chapter that will challenge any marriage and inspire not just discussion, but change.

Marriage truly is a team effort.  It is work.  It is HARD.  But if you truly learn how to be a team full of grace, love, and with a common goal, it can lead you toward a "winning season."

You can read a free excerpt of the book here.

Team Us is available for purchase at Amazon, Goodreads, Christianbook.com, and Barnes and Noble.  

You can also win a copy of the book by entering through the Rafflecopter box below!  


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