A few seasons ago, I went through a dark, grey, gloomy season of my life.  As the weather went from the warm summer air to the crisp, colorful autumn leaves, to the colorless winter, I was facing my own monochrome world. The color of my life had disappeared right before my eyes. Some things were happening that I didn’t understand and I was just clinging for dear life to the hem of His garment.

I was hunting for hope. Hope that would only come from one place. I knew that God was in control, and I knew that He is good. All the time. 

The only thing I could do during this time was focus on the many ways God had never let me down before. I had to turn my attention outward. Because the more I focused inward, the more I felt barren and bleak. 

I took the time to focus on the One who loves me most. I remembered His character. That He is loving and faithful; He is full of light, there is no dark in Him; He patiently woos the hearts of His children, and He was pursuing me. 

To be completely honest, I struggled. I fought feelings of inadequacy, inferiority, and incompleteness. I battled with my self-worth and self-value. 

Then, I continued with the most important habit anyone can have ~ my quiet time, my Bible study.

Each and every day, I woke and met Him. Whether I felt like it or not. Whether I slept well or not. Whether I thought He would meet me there or not, I sought His heart for me. 

I was involved in an online Bible study in which I was accountable to other amazing women. And guess what? They lifted me with their prayers. Their kind words soothed my soul. Their encouragement helped me realize that I would make it through. And not just make it, but THRIVE in spite of it. 

I read His sweet love-letter to me. I read that He has a heart for me. That He has the hairs on my head numbered. That He knew me before He formed me.

​I even read in the words of the prophet Jeremiah what I had been feeling, that I would be in Babylon for 70 years. Now, I wasn’t in the literal Babylon for a full 70 years. But it felt like it. No, instead, I was in a place of waiting. And not very patiently, I might add. 

No, I wasn’t in Babylon, but I was told by God to just chill there. Get comfy. And, Lord have mercy, I needed to be patient. 

You know what came after the 70 years? After the waiting and the patience? God says that He will do all the good things He has promised. He will bring me home again. Why does He do this? Because He knows the plans He has for me. He knows. He knows so I don’t have to. My job isn’t to know or to figure out what His plans are for me. That’s His job. My job is to trust. And to praise him while I’m waiting in the hallway for Him to open the door. 

But here’s the catch. See what comes after He declares He knows His plans for me? In verse 13 we are told, "You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." (NIV). 

We will find Him when we seek Him wholeheartedly, with our whole hearts. Not a part of our hearts. Not just the piece that wants His blessing. Not the small place where we need His favor. No. Our whole heart. Entirely. Fully. Completely.

See, this is given as a directive, because He knows how fickle we humans are. He knows how we can flit from one interest to the next in the blink of an eye. He knows how divisive we can be with one another. He knows that the only way to be completely content and satisfied with Him is if we are 100% sold out to Him. 

Well, friends, here is where I tell you how neat and tidy things turned out. Right? Wrong! Did I come out of my slump? Yes, absolutely. Did I come out of it stronger and with a renewed faith in my God? YES!

The literal and proverbial spring came, and things began to brighten for me, including my perspective. 

Do I still struggle sometimes? Yes, of course. But when I do, I go back to His character and the knowledge that He will work all things for my good. 

He will end my season of captivity and bring me home again, to my own land. Which is with Him, right where I want and need to be.  

“Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless.” ~James 1:26 NIV

I {Bethany} have become a little disheartened lately with the Christian women community. Reason being: As I look around and watch the women whom I look up to, encouragers and mentors that are helping shepherd the next generation of Christian women, I am a little disappointed in their actions.

Yes, they speak beautiful words about how much God loves us, show us how to walk in His ways, and even inspire us to become more by following His calling. But what is really bothering me is that fact that these women--women of God--are filled with a powerful desire to gossip about others.

With the age of social media, passive-aggressive whispers about others have become more prevalent in our community. We can say whatever we want in the comfort of our own homes behind a computer screen and never think twice about what we put out in the world and how we are treating another human being.

But what I feel others forget is that the written word can hurt just as much as the spoken one.

As an encourager, myself, I am very concerned with what I type and share on my blog or via social media. I have the power to build others up, or tear them down,  with just the push of a key on the keyboard. I can be a spark that sets a fire ablaze across the internet. Now, whether the fire is one of inspiration and encouragement or destruction and judgment, I get to decide, but either way, my actions can affect someone else and will show the depths of my heart and soul.

Am I striving to be Christ-like {as I should} or am I working towards my own self-fame and prideful wants?

I am not perfect by any means and sometimes I find myself typing out a passive-aggressive social media status, but catch myself and hit the delete button before I post. I am working to build others up so why would I want to put someone down? It doesn’t matter whether they are named or not, I know exactly who I was talking/writing about. The person I am referencing might even know who the status is about and will feel horrible because what I could have taken to them in private, I have placed before the world and opened to comments from outside sources.

We are not as stealthy as we would like to think and this type of action certainly doesn’t make us look good. We might get praise or get our friends to agree with us, but the one who we need to be in agreement with is deplored with our actions. God would NEVER approve!

With the written word on blogs and social media we have this wonderful filter called the delete button. We just need to use it more and more.

Here are a few scriptures to remember when the gossip bug bites you…

I (Toi) have 3 children, ages 4, 6 & 10. This week, my 10 year old complained about having to do for herself the things that I do for my 4 year-old. I reminded her that when she was 4, I did those things for her as well. Now that's she's getting older, into the double digits, she needs to learn to do for herself things like laundry, packing her own lunch or making her own cup of Easy Mac. My 4 year-old isn't mature (or tall) enough to do his laundry or make his own Easy Mac.  Letting him even attempt to do these things could be dangerous for him. 

God is a good Father. He loves us too much to allow us to speed ahead in the process to the new level before we are mature enough to handle it safely. He also loves us enough to allow us to grow and mature into children who may be released into the world to tend to our Father's business. Resist the temptation to compare your journey to someone else's. Comparison is the fastest way to lose our joy. We need joy, for joy of the Lord is our strength. (Nehemiah 8:10)

I'm not sure where you are at today in the process. Know this: Jesus will meet you wherever you are in your journey.  You may feel you are moving at a snail's pace, but He is still pleased as long as you keep moving in full obedience to Him.