When You Have Nowhere Else to Go

When we adopted our girls, it wasn’t a smooth transition.  We were in the middle of a foreign country for five weeks with children we had just met and one with obvious special needs that we had not known about before coming.  We were not prepared for the torrent of emotions that would consume us over the weeks following the sweet moment we first held them in our arms.  It was a time of extremes – absolute joy at meeting the daughters God had picked out for us, fear at not knowing how to help our oldest who struggled not only with the trauma of the transition, but with her brain not cooperating with her body, and anger at the many glitches we encountered with the court systems, our translator, and ourselves for not knowing the language better.

I {Ginny} remember after struggling all night to help them sleep, waking up tired, and waiting for yet another day for some news about our case moving forward, we would be filled with exhaustion and anger.  I slipped into depression, and I felt hopeless as I looked at my daughters who were looking at me with big eyes and their own fear of the unknown.  Could I be a mom of children with special needs?  I didn’t feel strong enough or knowledgeable enough to know what to do.  We just knew life was very chaotic, and I couldn’t get it to slow down so I could breathe. 

We tried everything to get through those days.  We Skyped with loved ones from home.  We walked through the park and ate lots of hamburgers and ice cream.  We swam in the pool for hours.  But I regret so badly the one thing we forgot that could have given us hope and the strength we so badly needed.  I forgot to include God in the process. 

As I look back, I don’t remember praying or picking up a Bible once during that entire time.  Instead, I just cursed at God for giving me more than I thought I could handle. 

I let the fear and hopeless swallow me instead of letting the TRUTH build me up. 

The truth is that God specifically chose those two beautiful children to be my daughters.  Because of that, He would provide what I needed to raise them in a home filled with the love of the Lord, the wisdom to navigate the special needs system to meet their needs best, and the strength and courage to keep moving forward.  He knew that my education background would give me the confidence I needed to go into IEP meetings and advocate for my child but work as a member of the team.  He knew that my husband’s gentleness and kind spirit would be just what the girls needed most as they tested us each day to see if we still loved them.   

He knew He could provide for what we needed if we just allowed Him to.  He knew that He had prepared us for this very moment of being parents and would continue to guide us if we would just let Him. 

Jeremiah 29:11  For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 

He has a plan for each of us.  In His plan, He wants to prosper us and not harm us.  He wants to give us hope and a future. 

Many of you are in situations right now where you feel hopeless, confused, or scared.  You have tried everything, and your well is empty.  I encourage you to STOP, BE STILL, and PRAY.  Allow the Lord into your situation.  Admit you do not have what it takes to go another step.  You need Him to carry you and guide you.  Tell Him you can do NOTHING without Him.   

Then, let Him work.  Allow Him to speak with you in the quiet, in His written Word, and through others He places in your path.  Take the pressure from yourself to handle it all on your own and let HIM take the reigns.  THEN, and only then, can you experience the hope and the peace that He wants to bring to you, even in the midst of the storm. 

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"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." PHILIPPIANS 4:6-7