When we Hide

If you're not familiar with Jewish history and the Old Testament, bear with me for a sec. 

In 1 Samuel 8, the Isaraelites ask for (read: demand) a king. They're not satisfied with having the Lord lead them. They are hungry for a flesh-and-blood ruler that they can see and touch. Samuel (the Prophet sent to speak to the Israelites) takes this personally, but God tells him that it's not Samuel who the Israeliets have rejected, but it's God directly.

In chapter 9, Samuel anoints Saul and officially selects him as king. The Bible tells us in that chapter that Saul is "an impressive young man without equal among the Israelites--a head taller than than any of the others" (Verse 2).

In chapter 10, it's time for Saul to be made king. This is it! It's the big day they've all been waiting for! Cue the confetti! Except, where's Saul? 

​Then he brought forward the tribe of Benjamin, clan by clan, and Matri’s clan was taken. Finally Saul son of Kish was taken. But when they looked for him, he was not to be found. So they inquired further of the Lord, “Has the man come here yet?”
And the Lord said, “Yes, he has hidden himself among the supplies.”

Here it was...the big drum roll, the procession, the big Ta-da! Where was Saul? Hiding among the supplies. He was hiding. The original Hebrew for the word "hiding" is chaba', it means to hide onself, to draw back.  

He was chosen, selected by God's own hand. He was anointed. And yet, he was so afraid and anxious, that when it came time to step into this calling, he hid. He withdrew.

The King James version uses the word "stuff" in verse 22 instead of "supplies." That one slapped me in the face. I get lost and hidden in my "stuff" too often. Sometimes I choose to be a "fixture" and fly under the radar instead of stepping out the way God has chosen me to. 

Do you see any of yourself in that like I do?

How often do I feel called and know that I know that I know that God has selected me for something (big or small) and I'm so afraid to step forward in obedience...so I hide, I withdraw?

If you finish the story of Saul, you'll learn that he eventually stopped trusting the Lord altogether. He became self-absorbed and spent his days relentlessly chasing after David--the man he despised because Saul was jealous. 

The Holy Spirit departed from Saul and he became depressed. 

I'm wrapping up this lesson and spending some time meditating on it. I don't want to doubt. I want to trust and move forward despite shaking knees and quivering voice, trusting the Lord to meet me and carry me.  

I don't want to "blend in" when the Lord calls me to step out. Whether it's to reach out to someone or stand on a stage in a crowd of millions, I want to be willing and available.

I don't want it said of me that I was found hiding among the stuff when the Lord had sent me out.