LIFE LESSONS FROM THE LOO

Just last week I (Mandy) posted this on Facebook:

"My 4 year-old refuses to poop on the potty. He's done it before and knows how, so I think it's just plain laziness. Help! What has worked for you? At this rate, he will be walking to get his diploma with a Monster's University pull-up on."

I'd had it. I was ready to throw in the proverbial pull-up.

We had tried everything: praising, cajoling, rewarding...all only to be disappointed with accidents again.

So, I did what everyone does when they need quick, decisive, reliable answers: I posted on Facebook.

And I received some feedback which I tried to employ, but my little guy was having none of it. He was still pooping in his pants like it was nothing.

I was mad that we'd {I thought} passed the milestone. He peed! He pooped! We celebrated! We phoned all relatives within a 3 state radius and made the glorious announcement that M was potty trained!

We spent an excruciating 30 minutes in WalMart picking out the perfect Lego set for his reward.

And then one accident led to another which led to a complete backslide.

And then it hit me after I posted on Facebook; M was only 4 years old. For his whole, entire life (only slightly more than 48 months) had been spent in diapers. He's known nothing different.

He wasn't lazy...I was.

The next morning, I woke up with a new resolve. Instead of waiting for him to act outside of what he has always looked at as normal, I was going to be proactive.

So, I sat him on the potty and waited.

And he was successful!

And then after lunch, I sat him down again.

And he was successful again!

So here we are now....days later and no accidents!

We still praise and scream and woo hoo each and every time he chooses to go in the potty.

And you know what?

He's now doing it on his own without me having to direct him.

And if you thought this whole post was going to be about potty training you can rest assured that it isn't!

This scenario makes me think of other areas of parenting where I employ the same tactics only to have them fall flat.

How many times do I try to guide and teach my kids something using the "feeding with the fire hose" method? Too often I'm afraid.

I forget that I didn't learn that way and it is unreasonable to expect my kids to.

Instead, I need to be more patient. I need to be proactive and involved.

I need to cheer them on while offering guidance, but not throwing them into whatever life lesson they may be facing and just hoping for the best and then getting irked when they don't shine.

So, for now I'm wiping my brow that  2/3 of our littles are potty trained. I'm celebrating every victory and learning from the mistakes.

Limp with me across the finish, mamas. This job we have is hard.

But oh so worth it!

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