I (Lindsey) am finally back from pregnancy/maternity leave and I’m excited to see what this next year has in store.  The end of last year brought me a handsome little blessing to love on. The topic I’m addressing today is one I’ve never written on before, mostly because I don't like calling people to action when I'm in not in a place to do so in the same way. Unfortunately, I think this may be part of the problem and possibly the number one reason why the problem continues. (So that is my disclaimer.) Let me also say that there are many ways in which I or others like me are capable of serving, sometimes we just need others to speak their needs so we can know how to best help. Sadly, none of us are mind-readers, so let’s give open and honest communication a try.

I am a young mama of 4 pretty awesome kids, but some days (today being one of those days), my patience and nerves are worn thin. My kids suffer the consequences of mommy’s tried patience, my marriage suffers the consequences of my tried patience, and the person who I am-- beyond being a mom-- suffers as well. We, the moms of small children, are in desperate need of respite. Whether our children are typical, functioning children or a family who is challenged with obstacles uncommon to all children, we need help. We won't often voice this need, as we don’t always feel capable of “returning the favor,” but we desperately need relief.

I was interested to find that while the modern-day definition of respite is temporary relief from an unpleasant or difficult task, its root Latin definition stemmed from the word respect. In today’s day and age we often encounter so little respect for the task of motherhood. Sometimes women who aren’t working outside the home are asked what they “do all day.” Women who do work outside the home are often condemned as abandoning or neglecting their children’s needs. From some in society’s viewpoint, the task of motherhood often seems to be one of the most criticized jobs in the world: People who have never done it can do it better. Women who are living it day-in-and-day-out judge other women who don’t do it the same. No wonder we never ask for help! What in the world would happen if we admitted that the never-ending task of motherhood requires help and community? How would we look if we admitted we couldn’t do it all?

Yet again, we come upon a foreign concept. Not only is motherhood no longer a respectable title (in some opinions), but we have also strayed so far from community that the camaraderie, and respite that is needed to do this job well is a distant dream. Gone are the days when generations lived together and the old and the young worked as one to keep family glued together. Job opportunities, different family structures, etc have made the old-school traditional village of blood family members impractical in many situations. However, we have been given a “new” family. We as a church have a responsibility to one another to be that village. We have the opportunity to serve one another as Christ served the world.

And here is where I step outside of my comfort zone. I’m one who hates asking for help, especially when the help I’m asking for is help that I can’t reciprocate in the same form. However, I've come to the realization that we can’t read one another's minds so I better just express my need. Today, I am calling upon the elder women of the Church. I call to the women who have “been there, done that,” and have survived the challenges and struggles that involve mothering small children.  We, the younger women, desperately need you! We need your expertise and advice. We need your consoling and assurance. We need your thoughts and intentional prayers. Most of all, we need your help.  We ask you to do the job that our mothers and grandmothers and great grandmothers were once purposed to do. We ask for you to sweep in and sweep us off our feet. We dream of someone making our children a meal when we are lying on the couch sick, exhausted, and struggling to figure out how we’ll manage to provide anything other than dry cereal on the coffee table.  

We implore you to offer babysitting for an hour while we run out for the groceries our family desperately needs, but we can’t manage to remember with little people tagging along [Read: pulling things off the shelves]. We ask you to offer up an evening of free-time so that we can reconnect with our husbands and salvage the mess that is marriage in this hectic, crazy, and sticky-finger-filled world. We desperately need you, but we won’t often tell you that.--or even know how.
 
Titus 2:3-5 says this, 
“Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. They can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husband, so that no one will malign the word of God.” 

We are called to build relationships with one another.,We are called to teach, urge, and support each other.  God very specifically designates the older women of the church as supporters of the younger women in these particular verses. This means the more experienced women of the church are needed. You {the experienced women} have a place and we really do need you even if we don’t ask. I also believe that young moms have a part in this. Sometimes it's really hard to ask for help, to admit to needing helping, or to accept help when it's offered. It can be very difficult to be the receiver instead of the giver. These verses tell us that when we don’t ask or we don’t choose to receive the gifts others are willing to offer we are depriving someone else of being able to give. It's time that we start communicating with one another instead of assuming that others can read our minds. In this way, maybe we will stop getting in the way of God’s divinely appointed relationships and instead will start seeing the benefits of Godly women helping each other with gracious and merciful hearts.

Have you been there, ladies? Have you struggled and wished someone would reach out to lend a hand or mentor you? Seasoned women, do you reach out to the younger women in the church? Chime in!

Today, I (Mia) invite you into my head, into my heart and into the internal conversations I have with God. Journey with me, because maybe you have some of the same talks. Let's praise Him, because we are fearfully and wonderfully made

Do I, Lord? Do I praise you when I look in the mirror or do I spend more time comparing myself to the images in magazines, my peers, and the imagination of who I think I should be. Do I call what you fearfully and wonderfully made, ugly...worthless...not as good? Do I believe that the works of your hand are wonderful? Do I know these things in the deepest, fullest part of my heart?

Lord, remind me that you have always known me, my creation was not a secret to you. With your hands, as you did with Adam, you formed my parts.

Lord, you see me. Before I was born, you knew me. Each day ordained for me, You are well aware of. You know my struggles, You know my joys, You know my thoughts even more than I do. Lord, help me to remember when days seem dark, that you have already called me a conqueror...more than a conqueror. There are days ahead that I can not imagine, but I know you already have them covered. Lord, help me to trust.

God, help me to count the truth that you call me loved, chosen, redeemed, valued and your friend as precious. Help me to value your thoughts of me above what the world tries to tell me I am. May I remember that "I am who The Great I AM says I am"  (Rachel Barrentine-"Says I Am").
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Do I realize how highly you love me, how many thoughts of me you have. Lord may I get a glimpse of the measure of your love for me and may I turn that love for me into an outpouring of love for others because, well, you think so highly of them too! Lord as I fall asleep trying to comprehend your greatness may I awake each morning still in awe of your love.

Have a great week. He loves YOU! 
Love you in the Lord my friends, Mia

Rest: A foreign concept to most women. But do you know rest is important--so important that we read about it in the Bible? 

First in Genesis 2:2 NLT "On the seventh day God had finished his work of creation, so he rested from all his work"

Then again with Jesus in  Mark 6:30-32 " The apostles returned to Jesus from their ministry tour and told him all they had done and taught.  Then Jesus said, “Let’s go off by ourselves to a quiet place and rest awhile.” He said this because there were so many people coming and going that Jesus and his apostles didn't even have time to eat.  So they left by boat for a quiet place, where they could be alone. "

Jesus only did what He saw His Father do (John 5:19.)  God rested, so Jesus rested. Jesus and his Apostles were humans.   Jesus never expected His Apostles to go non-stop serving in His ministry without proper rest and alone time for prayer.  Jesus was the perfect Son of God but He still valued proper rest and alone time with the Father.  

I know, as a mom, there are those times when we are running on very little rest due to the demands of motherhood. That's part of being a mom, but we are to imitate Christ.  Are we really imitating Christ when we are run ragged on 2 hours of sleep because we insist on delivering casseroles to every sick/shut in person from church?  Does imitating Christ really look like being so over-scheduled that we neglect our prayer time? 

Dear Heavenly Father,
Forgive us when we go beyond what You have called us to and neglect rest. We want to imitate Christ in our lives. We want to do only what You have called us to do. Nothing more, nothing less.   Thank You for loving us. In Jesus in name, Amen.

My heart raced and my face flushed as I read her status update. I {Mandy} was rushed with emotion: anger, sadness, incredulity.

Why? Why would she post something like that? She had to have known I would see it. Surely she'd know I'd know she was talking about me, about our situtation. 

I felt betrayed. I felt defensive. I felt enraged.

Have you ever been there? Have you felt betrayed or wronged by a friend? Did you want to lash out? Defend yourself? 

I have. 

It stings. It hurts. 

It requires taking a step back and really thinking through our course of action (or non-action). It requires prayer and throwing ourselves at the feet of the Lord with humility. Often, when we've been hurt, especially when we feel we are in the right, we feel obligated to respond in some way to clear our names and defend our reputation. 

May I suggest that you don't do that? May I suggest that you, instead, go before the Lord and ask Him to reveal any areas where you may be in the wrong? May I offer that in those moments when everything in you screams out to be vindicated that you take a moment to focus on the truth in your situation?

And the truth of the situation mirrors 1 Samuel 8. When the Israelites demanded a king, Samuel was upset. His own sons were to lead the Israelites as he had done his whole life, but his sons were sinful. Samuel took his wounded feelings, anger, and troubled heart to the Lord:

I love the clarity God offers. I can almost hear the hurt in God's own voice as He shares with Samuel that the Israelites have rejected God ever since leaving Egypt. He comforts Samuel that it isn't Samuel the people are rejecting, but it's God Himself. Samuel was acting on the directive of God and the people wanted no parts of it. The Israelites were acting out of the flesh...out of what they wanted and what seemed right to them. 

If you've been on the other side of a harsh barb or a "vague" yet pointed status, take a moment to take your feelings to the Lord. Listen to Him. Hear if you have anything that needs addressed or any apologies that need to be made, and then rest in His presence. Realize that when you are acting out of a Godly directive, and within integrity of the Lord, those who reject you aren't really rejecting you...they are rejecting God. 

Remember Jesus said: