WHAT'S YOUR STORY? WEEK #5 DAY #4 MANDY

Mandy's Story

Today's Devotional is the last in the What's Your Story? series. This week, Ginny and Mia have shared their stories. Tomorrow, be sure to check our Blog page for Lindsey's story. Next month's Devo will begin October 13, 2014. October's theme: Burned Out: Addressing burn-out in ministry.

I {Mandy} have lived a lot of life in my 37 years. 

I was raised in tough times as one of 3 girls. I am the youngest.

I grew up with the typical teenage angst and some that was far from typical. 

I had an unfortunate experience as a teen where I was taken advantage of by someone I trusted and someone who was entrusted with my care.

That situation embittered me toward the church-- and God in particular. My identity and value was tied up in who I was within my church and who I was in the eyes of the person who broke my trust, and I mistakenly lumped God in with all of that and walked away for a time.

I began sneaking out of my house my senior year and became sexually involved with my (then) boyfriend. It didn't take long for me to become pregnant and, a week before I was to leave for college--a staunchly Christian college-- the college of my dreams, I found out I was pregnant. 

My boyfriend and I panicked. How in the world would 2 active church teens explain to the pillars in their church that they'd had premarital sex and that I was now pregnant. The entire landscape of our lives changed in an instant. 

We made hasty plans and decided to run away and elope. We obviously didn't think this through. I guess we just hoped that our family would assume ours was a "honeymoon baby" and not do the math. 

To make a long part of this story short, allow me to sum up that part of my life.

It was pretty horrible. 

We moved 1000 miles away from home with no family or friends. I had horrible morning sickness and barely knew this boy I called my husband. I was ill-prepared for adult life let alone marriage and now motherhood. I was lost. 

To make matters worse, I was distant from God.

After 3 months, I suffered a miscarriage. I had never announced my pregnancy to family because many were still not speaking to us due to anger over our eloping. I was, in essence, a little girl living in an adult world struggling with very adult problems. And I had no one to turn to. 

My marriage shriveled up and died shortly after the miscarriage. We moved back home and I became involved with someone 12 years my senior. I think I saw stability and security in him. That began my not-so-illustrious experience with cheating. 

I cheated on my husband. 

I divorced my husband.

I married the guy I was cheating with.

He cheated on me. 

I cheated on him.

I divorced him.

And it was at this time in my life that God started taking a hold of me again. I am ever-so-grateful that He did. 

The blinders started to slip from my eyes. The heart that I had built so many walls around to keep from feeling the hurt and the pain started to crumble. I started to yearn for God again.

I wish I could say that my life miraculously came together at that point. 

It didn't.

Instead, I started seeing a man who is now my husband. We immediately fell in love and got pregnant. I was 6 months pregnant at our wedding.

So you see, I hadn't totally gotten on the straight and narrow yet.

But one thing I know is that God was always there. 

Every tear I cried.
Every drink that touched my lips.
Every lie I told.
Every man I was with.
Every time my heart broke.
Every time I cried out, asking God to just make it all end.
Every mistake I made. 
Every fall I took.
Every time I broke my Savior's heart.

He was there. 

I can look back now, decades later and see that God really was there with me. I see countless ways He saved me and directed my paths...even when I wanted nothing to do with Him.

I see a broken woman who, at one time, just wanted to go to sleep forever. And I see a God who wouldn't let me go, who reassured me time and time again that if I just held on...to Him...if I just sought Him with my whole heart...that He would give me blessings untold. He would restore my heart and rebuild my trust. And He would make me whole again. 

He has been so faithful in His promises. 

He has shown me that my value and worth are not found in anyone or anything on this earth, but in Him. He has allowed me to be redeemed and to use my past--once so humiliating--to help others who are struggling. He has allowed me the incredible honor of glorifying Him with my story. 

My story: What was once written as a tragedy, God has re-written as a love story. 

And He will do the same for your story. 

What's Your Story? I'd love to hear it. 

Editor's Note: It's important to note that I have since reconciled with the person who took advantage of me in my youth. God's love and grace truly is amazing. And He has taught me that it doesn't just apply to me, but to others who have wronged me as well. He makes all things new. ~Mandy

Join Ginny, Mia & Mandy at the What's Your Story? Women's Conference October 10 & 11, 2014 in Belle Vernon, PA. Hear them share their hearts and the love of Jesus with other women. More information about this conference is available by clicking HERE.