Let's Start The Conversation: Women in Community

Earlier this week I {Lindsey} wrote on God’s design for relationship between the younger and older women of the church. Now, here I am writing to you about this lesson's application to my own life.  It's a difficult task given that I have yet to really apply it. I would say in many ways, I'm the younger generation. At just 26 years of age with four children ranging in age from 7-5 months I am in the trenches of young motherhood. There are times when I desperately need help. There are days that I long for the lifestyle of my ancestors. They worked hard, their lives were not easy, but they typically had this beautiful gift of community and a village in which to raise their children. They had a village of like-minded individuals who looked out for one another.

Why are there times that I truly desire this lifestyle? The answer is pretty simple. No one had to ask for help, it was just there. Today with so much distance and such a different outlook on the concept of community or a village in which to raise our children, help typically comes when we ask. I for one am horrible at asking. Maybe its my "Type A" personality, maybe the beginning my husband and I had together with an entire ocean between us and family, maybe it’s the 15-month deployment we faced, or a pattern of behavior in which I just get up and do what needs to be done, but whatever it is, I do not often ask for help. I’m not sure I even know how.

So here I am speaking to you, the Deliberate Women readers, and telling you of this lack of communication and yet, here I sit still expecting those in my life to read my mind. I’m not exactly sure how to change--or rather start--the conversation. Too often when I think of asking for help my mind automatically flashes the word burden in big bright, neon letters. I don't want to be a burden to others. At the same time, what opportunities to serve God and others am I missing simply because I am run down and worn out by the challenging task of motherhood?

I want to know that I will not burden those who I ask for help. I want them to know that my goal is not to burden them, its simply to lighten this part of my burden so that I might be better capable of helping others in a similar fashion. I’m not quite sure what the answer is, but maybe its about getting the whole church talking. Maybe we encourage churches to set up a Titus 2 ministry that would allow women from both sides of the proverbial fence an opportunity to offer and ask for help. Maybe in this way we can avoid the “Do they really want to be here?” or the “Do they really need help?” questions and instead can get right to the real life relationships and support.

Check out some posts by our friend Courtney at Women Living Well about Titus 2 Women HERE.

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